Regular season is coming to a close...

I feel like this should be a bit more pragmatic, but it won't be. Regular seasons come and regular seasons go. This is no different. Then we get into the world of the playoffs, and that's a whole different beast.

Week 17:
Tampa Bay (-13) over Oakland (Oakland is going to play upset, yet I won't pick them)
Detroit (+11) over Green Bay (to cover, not to win)
Philadelphia (-1.5) over Dallas (did I have to pick this?)
Giants (+7) over Minnesota (even the Scrubs will beat this team)
Houston (-3) over Chicago (plays spoiler, ends the Bears' season)
Carolina (-2) over New Orleans (Brees will not get the record)
Atlanta (-14) over St. Louis (losing this game would be a big blow to the ego)
Kansas City (+2.5) over Cincinnati (it's unfortunate this game has to be played)
Jacksonville (+11) over Baltimore (to cover, not win, Baltimore won't post enough to make 11 reasonable)
Tennessee (-3) over Indianapolis (even Tony Dungy is sitting today)
Pittsburgh (-11) over Cleveland (nothing need be said here, this will be embarrassing)
Miami (+3) over Jets (It's warm in NJ, Miami's a better team, and the Jets, as always, suck)
New England (-5.5) over Buffalo (Bills will blow it, will not play spoiler)
Arizona (-7) over Seattle (Not really a game, more like an attempt at football)
Washington (+3) over San Francisco (both teams should be better, Skins win)
Denver (+8) over San Diego (Denver covers, doesn't win. SD makes the playoffs)

-Jobimoto out.
All things must pass

One last week...

9-7, and next week, the regular NFL season of 2008 will inexplicably be coming to an end. Who saw that coming? Not me, bub. For 20 teams, the season is done. Some will be undeserving of their exit, others will go home to figure out what went wrong, and the Lions, which I'm not even sure are an NFL team, let alone an Arena League team, will hopefully realize the futility of their ways and scrap their whole sordid franchise.

But that last one is a Christmas wish list. The playoffs will go through January. The Super Bowl will take care of February, and then a few short days exist until Spring Training. God Bless America.

-Jobimoto out.
"I'm always on time. I might be late for a couple years, but I'm always on time."

GIANTS WIN!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaamazing. Too tired to get into it.

9-6 right now, called some big ones, missed some even bigger ones.

Calling Chicago (-4.5) at home over Green Bay.

-Jobimoto out.
Earth, Wind, and Fire...

Call me butter

...and I don't need to finish that joke. I'm getting cocky, but 2-0 on the week will do that to you, especially when Dallas gets stomped on their own turf and you predicted it. Love it.

Rest of the weekend:

Tennessee (+2.5) over Pittsburgh
Miami (-3.5) over Kansas City
New England (-8) over Arizona
Cleveland (-3) over Cincinnati (The Battle of Who Could Care Less)
Philadelphia (-5) over Washington
San Francisco (-5) over St. Louis
Atlanta (+3) over Minnesota
GIANTS (-3.5) over Carolina
Seattle (+3.5) over Jets (until the Jets win West convincingly....)
Houston (-7) over Oakland
Denver (-6) over Buffalo
Tampa Bay (-3.5) over San Diego

Only 3 more upset predictions this week, ominous...

-Jobimoto out.
Trebek...

and...

New Orleans -7 over Detroit. missed that one somehow

Peyton

So good. How is he so good? As Greeny and Golic said, "Write his name in pen for the league MVP."

That being said, Baltimore +4.5 over Dallas in Big D. You heard it here.

-Jobimoto out.
You know it.

Where'd I go?

Good question, not sure. But I'm back, after two weeks of not doing anything. Don't need to talk about it, but here we go. Tonight the Colts at home will cover the 6 point spread against the Jaguars and will clinch a playoff spot. Peyton Manning will call a great game, but come on, that's not a prediction, that's a fact.

-Jobimoto out.
Full picks this week, I promise.

Retroactive

I didn't post it, but I had Chargers -9.5 at home over the Raiders. The Raiders did not disappoint. I was initially going to take that spread for the Raiders, then I realized that San Diego has been losing close games to good teams. The Chargers are out of contention (in my opinion, somehow not in theirs), but they still had to beat up on SOMEONE after getting smacked around the past few weeks.

-Jobimoto out.
Better late than never...

9-7

9-7. Yep. That's it.

-Jobimoto out.
"That's it?" "That's IT."

Quick Picks

It is rare that I'm home, and even rarer that I am home on a football Sunday. My dad and I get to watch a Giants game together for the first time in years and I couldn't be more pumped. Here are my quick picks:

Jets (-8) over Denver
Buffalo (-6.5) over San Francisco
Tampa Bay (-4) over New Orleans
Carolina (+3) over Green Bay
GIANTS (-4) over Washington
Miami (-7) over St. Louis
Baltimore (-7) over Cincinnati
Indianapolis (-4.5) over Cleveland
Atlanta (+5.5) over San Diego
Pittsburgh (+2) over New England
Kansas City (+3) over Oakland
Minnesota (-3.5) over Chicago
Jacksonville (+3) over Houston

That's it for now.

-Jobimoto out.
No...more...pie...

Thanks, and the giving of it

Today is Thanksgiving, and there is much to be thankful for. Currently I am thankful to be home with my family where I am getting ready to load up on food and watch a game that may closely resemble football, despite the fact that the Detroit Lions are playing.

I am thankful for a lot of things: my friends, my family, my health, my job - I really can't complain about much even though I like to rant and rave about sports at the drop of the hat. Currently I am thankful not to be working and thankful for the whiskey tea I am drinking that is massaging my hangover.

I am also thankful for Tom Coughlin, who makes my New York Football Giants true competitors. I am thankful for the emergence of Justin Tuck as the baddest man around, as well as the O-line, that keeps Eli upright. I will stop gushing, because I finished 8-8 last week, missing some key key matchups, so without further ado...

Tennessee (-11) over Detroit - I would give this the AGS pick, except it's Thursday. I feel like we could maybe be experiencing a Thanksgiving miracle, but only to cover. But that's crap. Detroit has the worst run defense in the league, and who has made their success by mainly running the ball? That's right, the Titans. This "game" is going to turn into a slaughter.

Dallas (-12) over Seattle - I would sit through Seattle at Detroit if I could watch a game like Tennessee versus Dallas, instead we have a 10-1 team against an 0-11 team, and a 7-4 team against a 2-9 team. Seattle isn't even going to show up - they are not a team that seems very interested in winning. Even if Rob Johnson were at QB, I would probably still take Dallas over Seattle with this spread. The Seahawks love to come into town and get beat to Hell, and I think today will be no different.

Arizona (+3) over Philadelphia - I would say this is a trap game except for the turmoil that the Eagles are experiencing. This will be a good test for Arizona - coming east, playing in the cold, having to maybe abandon the passing game and rely on the run. All of these things are doable for this offense. They hung tough with the Giants last week, but that was in the comfort of their turf. The Eagles do not look like a mentally tough team. They look flat, they look weak, and they look like they've only got so much fight in them. I'm taking the Cards and the points.

Also, what the hell is this NuggNuts commercial series that McDonald's is running? This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen - and how the hell do they think that NuggNuts sounds appealing? That's disgusting, it conjures so many horrible visual images that I don't know if I can keep my breakfast down...McDonald's, I am not thankful for you.

Happy Turkey day!

-Jobimoto out.
Gobble, gobble.

Making a mockery of timing

Yeah, so this is not a timely post.

Here were my picks made yesterday but never posted:
Cleveland (-3) over Houston
KC (+3) over Buffalo
Tennessee (-5.5) over Jets
New England (+1) over Miami
Dallas (-10) over San Francisco
Tampa Bay (-8.5) over Detroit
Baltimore (-1.5) over Philadelphia
Chicago (-8) over St. Louis
Minnesota (+2) over Jacksonville
Carolina (+1) over Atlanta (ASG in Hotlanta's favor)
Denver (-9) over Oakland
Washington (-3.5) over Seattle
Giants (-3) over Arizona
Indianapolis (+2.5) over San Diego (this one is for pride now)
Green Bay (+2.5) over New Orleans

So the Colts are playing the Chargers right now, and with my Thursday pick, I'm at
7-7.
Game I could not have predicted in a thousand years:
-Denver getting whipped by Oakland at home. Oakland is so bad that now when something is awful you might as well just say, 'it's Oakland,' and I don't care how old that joke is. This floored me, but Denver is sinking to new lows. Seriously is anyone going to win that division or is someone going to be declared, "not the worst."

Game I can't believe:
-Buffalo beating KC blew my mind. Buffalo looked so bad and KC has played spoiler so many times recently I thought that with 5 at home in Arrowhead that this was a lock. Instead the Bills blew them out of the water. Is Buffalo back in it? Not at all. But that would have cost me some
bucks.
-Washington missing the spread by half a fucking point, but that's why Vegas gets paid. How did they not beat the spread against the lowly Seahawks?
And the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets beating the Titans? The Titans don't need wins in theory. The worst they can finish is 10-6, I just don't think I can take Jets fans and their Brett Favre Brett -Favre Brett Favre talk. I'm happy the Titans got knocked off, and I'm happy for Jets fans, but man their patter is abysmal. The Titans looked lackluster in what little I saw, and they did not deserve to win this game.

Game I was proud of calling:
-New England over Miami.

Weak spreads I could not believe:
- Minnesota a 2 point underdog to Jacksonville? those guys are bad.
- Baltimore only 1.5 over Philly? Did anyone watch Philly struggle against the Bengals?

Any Given Sunday:
Happened in Atlanta. They flat out flogged the Panthers. Should have seen that one coming. Never pick Carolina or Tampa, always pick based on the other team.

My boys:
The G-Men rocked. Gave up too many points on D, but Zona has emerged as a high power offense, and the Giants matched them blow for blow and then some. Proud of my boys.

Currently:
Watching Colts/Bolts. Anxiously awaiting a full on Phillip Rivers implosion. So happy the Giants traded him for Manning.

-Jobimoto out
"Bromance?"

He had SO much time.

Peyton Manning was given a minute and a half and man did he use it. Make that 8-7 on the week.

Phillip Rivers surprisingly did not implode, but I did know that Turner was not going to manage the clock well. Gotta love the certainties in life...

-Jobimoto out
Not quite a spanking...

Can't I sleep in?

No. And why must curtain calls sometimes be longer than the freaking show? Seriously, I'm IN the show and I'm uncomfortable with the clapping the audience has to do.

Last week 9-7, could not have been more wrong in some cases.

Pick:

Cincinnati (+11) over Pittsburgh - Cincy is playing spoiler and Pittsburgh is slowing down. The Bengals are fiesty, but even down Ocho, I think they can cover 11 points.

-Jobimoto out.
No. Not doing it.

Who said what now?

I don't even have to look back, I know that in an earlier post I talked about Gerrard as the backup to Roethlisberger in Pittsburgh. Yes. It's Leftwich. I know. Let's drop it.

I don't care how many commercials Peyton Manning is in, I want him advertising my shiz. He is hilarious. The latest Mastercard commercial where he's misinterpreting insults is genius. I don't care if it makes me a simple man, I love it. He will sell iceboxes to Eskimos when his playing days are over. Eli is not the advertising genius his brother is, but I don't care - he is winning football games, and Peyton is not. It's tough to say that the Giants are the team to beat, but they are. The problem with being the team to beat is that generally someones comes along and does so (see: last year's Patriots, the Greatest Show on Turf, and the 2000 Minnesota Vikings the year the Giants skunked them 40-0 in the NFC Championship game only to get abused by the Baltimore Ravens in what was not truly a Super Bowl, but was merely a Decent Thimble - obvious pun, bite me).

I called the Jets/Pats game all wrong, but some rather unfortunate incidents happened to the Patriots, see the miscued snap, the drop by Watson, and a couple uncalled penalties. But Cassel still threw for 400 yds, 3 touchdowns, and they lost. They could not run the ball and continually went into spreads that were Brady's bread and butter but that Cassel is still coming to grips with. He is decent, maybe even good, but Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre really was the difference maker with one stat - 0, as in interceptions. I thought the Patriots abandoned a solid pass rush in overtime that had helped them subdue the Jets in the second half, but what do I know? Ty Law was useful when he had help deep, but he got exploited by Gaffney early in the second half. Kudos to both teams, but the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets deserve all the props.

Picks, and on time for a change!

Atlanta (-6.5) over Denver - Time change and a bad defense against a solid rushing attack and a developing stud quarterback at home. I don't need to dwell on this.

Miami (-10) over Oakland - Time change, a bad defense, and an offense missing a ton of pieces against a surprising Miami team. Also, Oakland is awful. So awful this game will probably get national coverage.

Giants (-7) over Baltimore - Ths is a tough one and quite possibly the biggest fan pick I have given. The only reason I really believe the Giants can cover this is because Joe Flacco has not been put under a ton of pressure this year. I don't know if that's a function of his O-line, or if it's the fact that they haven't been playing teams with great defenses (a little of both), but the Giant's pass rush has proved it can hang in and take on just about anyone. Flacco will make some mistakes under pressure, and the Giants know that's the game plan. The Giants are going to have to pound the Ravens early with the run (let's hear it for Brandon Jacobs) to clear up some time for Eli. He'll play a little pitch and catch downfield with Plax, and it's game over. However, not an easy win.

Houston (+8) over Indianpolis - Looking for Houston to cover, not to win. Indy is perhaps the biggest question mark in the NFL, looking both solid and porous all at the same time. I think they can handle Houston, especially at home, and that the 8 points are for the fans (see my above prediction). Houston is more than capable of covering, and should, considering they inexplicably blew a game to Indy earlier this year (anyone remember that Sage Rosenfels?)...

Tennessee (-3) over Jacksonville - Everything in me is screaming to take Jacksonville and the points, because if there's a team coming up that's going to beat Tennessee, the Jaguars might be it. But I'm alrso reminded of how horrible the Jags have played of late and how beating Detroit is barely even a moral victory, more just one on paper.

Chicago (+3.5) over Green Bay - It's tough picking against Green Bay at home as the season changes, but the Bears are no stranger to the cold, and evertime I've picked Green Bay because of Lambeau they've let me down. I'm taking the Bears to cover and win.

Philadelphia (-9) over Cincinatti - This team has to stop sucking at some point, but it won't against the Eagles, who are coming off a tough loss against the Giants and are licking their chops in need of a win. They are staring down the Bungles and everything that is wrong with the team.

New Orleans (-5.5) over Kansas City - FINALLY, Kansas City is no longer being given ridiculous spreads. They stopped making Vegas money, so the lines, that KC has been covering, are now back down to earth. New Orleans is another team that should be doing vastly better than it's record. A team like Kansas City is just the type of team that this potential offensive juggernaut needs to get the ship righted again.

Detroit (+14) over Carolina - This pick makes no sense to me, except Detroit has played spoiler against some huuuuge spreads. It's the only thing that's even leading me to pick them against Carolina, who is currently tied with Tampa for "Team I hate picking games for." Honestly, I think if you look at my Tampa/Carolina games, they are all a wash. Come to think of it, a lot of the NFC South is like that...hmmm.

San Francisco (-6.5) over St. Louis - ONLY if Steven Jackson isn't starting. I won't have time to check on this, but I am declaring this pick null and void (or at least reversed) if Jackson plays. A team with absolutely no running game is not much of a threat in the air (unless you are New England and you have three awesome wide outs and a solid tight end). St. Louis has an aging Torry Holt and Donnie Avery, who has been benched this week after letting me down for two straight weeks. Meaning he's good for 2 and at least a 100 yards.

Tampa Bay (-4) over Minnesota - Yes, picking Minnesota to lose, not Tampa to win, because we know that happens when I do that. I was going to play Antonio Bryant over Avery because he has been solid in recent weeks, but I went with Welker instead, who is a great 3 man in Fantasy because he's good for about 4 a week in yardage. He was a Stud last year, and is still a keeper. My team is going to be so stacked next year with Brady Quinn, Tim Hightower, Wes Welker, Donnie Avery, and Antonio Bryant, but this year we're playing for the draft pick...my keepers this year were: Julius Jones (injured and underachieving), Anquan Boldin (STUUUD, with a couple injuries), Joey Galloway (injured), Wes Welker (diminished returns due to Brady's absence), Todd Heap (let's not talk about that...), and the Giant's D (solid). Next year will be better...

Arizona (-3) over Seattle - Only three? I was about to go on about how this seems pretty far fetched, until I looked it up and saw that Seattle lost by 2 to Miami (beating the spread) and that Arizona beat the 9ers by 5 last week (missing the spread). Arizona is better than Miami and Seattle is worse than San Francisco, so I think this is a little odd, but what the hell. I'll take the easy points.

Pittsburgh (-5) over San Diego - San Diego is will not be back in the winners circle unless they get a ridiculous spread. The situation applies even against a banged up Pittsburgh team. San Diego has been such a dog, and they are about as banged up as the Steelers, but are ultimately a worse team. Not a tough pick for me.

Washington (+1.5) over Dallas - Tony Romo is coming off a broken widdle fingew, is going TO Washington, and the 'Skins are still the underdog? That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. This is a game that Dallas can win and actually needs to win if they have any hope of remaining in contention for a playoff spot. And as much as Dallas needs it, I don't think they're pulling it out. They are the Yankees of the NFL in 2008...though the Chargers also share that sentiment. Dallas has just had a lot of problems, and they aren't in a place to recover right now. Boohoo Cowgirls. See you next year.

Cleveland (+5) over Buffalo - Call me crazy (you're crazy!), but I like Brady Quinn against the struggling Buffalo Bills. A completely winnable game for the Bills, but so was Thursday for the Pats. The Bills could gain some ground in the AFC East with this win, but I think they're slide is a little too steep to be stopped at this point. It was a good run boys, but fix your QB woes and we'll see you next year.

So far this week: 0-1-0.

-Jobimoto out.
"Rub some dirt on it."

"This is Curious" (or, "Who do I punch?")

Steven Jackson is about to get the biggest face punch I can muster. If he were not on my fantasy team, he'd be receiving a moderate face punch, but no, he was my first round pick and was a stud for me two years ago when he decided that no defense could hold him and he wanted to gain a total of 2334 yards from scrimmage and 16 touchdowns. Ah, that was a good year.

He was disappointing last year as a Fantasy back but still a decent runner, so maybe he was a questionable first round pick considering that he had an offensive line that likes to do an impression of Swiss cheese and was holding out up until a week before the season. But he got paid as well he should and all seemed right in Ram-town, right?

Wrong. So unbelievably wrong. He didn't score until week four, when I benched him. Then in Week 7, he decides he's a golden god and scores 3 touchdowns with 160 yards, hurting himself in the process. Then he sat for a week. Then he "attempted" to play the next week. Then he sat last week, and is doing so again. Did this guy even want to play football this year??

Look, I know the Rams suck and are out of it at 2-7. There is no point in him ruining his career when the team could get an amazing draft pick. But...couldn't you have done this earlier so I hadn't wasted so many weeks playing you? Couldn't you have signed the contract then tapped out after week 6? You guys were 1-4. It was over. Le sigh...

-Jobimoto out.
"And Jackson's tackled for a loss..."

I think what my friend is trying to say is...

Love is blind. That's the way sports fandom goes. You watch your team do all the wrong things, and you keep going back for more. No one will ever be able to explain why, it's just one of those things that perennially keeps happening. Kudos to Blogi though for Tim Lincecum winning the Cy Young award. That kid is a 170 lb stud. He is going to be the centerpiece of that rotation, if only the Giants have the brains, gall, and dollars to build around him...and maybe get him a couple of bats to provide run support.

But yes, the 49ers game was a disaster, though they beat the spread and ruined one of my picks. Boldin and my fantasy team soared though, so no complaints there. Let's do a little recap shall we?

So did anyone else see the emergence of Brady Quinn as an all around Stud? He is going to only get better. Granted, playing against a horrible defense made him look good and his defense folded on him and ruined my pick, but we saw something great come out of this kid, and I think we'll be hearing from him for a long time. There were a couple times where he forced himself out of the pocket and created his own problems, but he'll be fine, it was his first start, he's bound to be a little jumpy.

As bad as Jacksonville has been, how could you not have had them beating Culpepper and the cowardly Lions?

The Tennessee and New England games both felt like locks, and the Patriots have proved that they are still contenders, and the Bills proved they are, in fact, pretenders.

Taking New Orleans and the single point was dumb dumb dumb. I don't know what possessed me, but as soon as that game started, it was clearly over. Drew Brees threw for 422 yards and New Orleans still lost. Ohhhh, he also threw for 3 interceptions. If we go by the adage that every interception is worth 5 points added to your opponent's score, and Atlanta had 34 points and New Orleans had 20 (Matt Ryan, it should be noted, threw no interceptions)...well look at that, take away those fifteen points and you have New Orleans winning 20-19, not even needing the points.

Miami not covering shocked me. Seattle almost winning this game shocked me even more. While I lost the pick, the important thing is the Dolphins, doing a modified Tampa Bay Rays impression, held on. These are the games good teams have to win, and it doesn't matter if you win ugly, you still get the W.

There are not enough words to describe how wrong I was about St. Louis covering against the Jets. 47-3. That's an embarrassment. That's Pee-Wee vs Div I-A right there. I don't know if the Jets defense is really that good, or if the absence of Jackson and the run killed the Rams, but they were 16 types of bad last weekend. I don't know if I can put my faith in them again for a while. Donnie Avery got benched on my team after that piss-poor last week (I'm sure he's feeling it).

Carolina and Baltimore covering were not shocking. The way in which Green Bay covered (by a point and a half) prompted a gambler's sigh of relief, but left me wanting more. They're too good a team and the Vikings are too mediocre for this to be happening. Maybe it's the other way around, but I am over the NFC North. And the South. And the West. It should also be noted though that KC kiiiiiiilled the spread against the Chargers, who are Bad. If I had money, I would have laughed all the way to the bank on that one. But alas, I am poor, not broke - and we all know that the real gamblers have absolutely nothing, because what do they have to lose except limbs?

Pittsburgh got beat by Indy, in what should have been a shocking revelation, but in hindsight, I'm sad I didn't predict this. Sanders was a difference maker, Indy got a lot of lucky breaks, and they were able to hold the Steelers off. Steelers' football is essentially a 12 round fight decided by decision week in, week out - it's tough for them to maintain a fully healthy roster, and this is the point in the season when it starts to catch up. It's good to stake a big lead early in the Steel-town, if only to catch some rest later.

So that leaves...who? The New York Football GIANTS! Who did in fact cover the three I gave to Philly! Suckers! Each and every one of the Boys in Blue were fired up that they were somehow the underdog (this will forever blow my mind). The score is no indication of how much that game was dominated by the Giants. Andy Reid made desperation challenges and was right to lose them. The reason the score got as high as it did for the Eagles was because of the insane field position they got a couple times. But no excuses, the defense gave up some big plays, but the offense made big ones too, which people need to focus on. We gave up 31 and WON. Not only can the team win with the D, but it gets it done on the other side of the ball. Giants run game was the difference maker, and I'm glad no one is trying to stroke Plax's ego or try to turn Eli into a gunslinger. Stick with the gal that brought you to the dance, and that's the frightening trio of Jacobs, Ward, and Bradshaw. I'll take that any day of the week.

On the Week: 8-6

Prediction for thursday:
New England (-3) over Jets - I think this is a game that the Jets can win, but won't. Brett Favre will be the deciding factor either way, either by leading them to victory or taking them down the path to defeat. He is the keystone.

-Jobimoto out.
"What can I say? I'm not a talker."

Cy Young is Proud

Way to go, Timmy! BOO YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check out the final count.

I like the reference to the election stats in there as well.

Also, check out the video of Lincecum talking to the press about the win. The kid is really that: A KID. But in the best way possible. 1) He's a west-coaster (though from Washington... close enough) and really is the personification of the term "West Coast": Chill. 2) He just wants to play ball and keep getting better everyday. He's not a "rockstar" or sports diva, he just wants to throw that ball for the love of the great and glorious game after which it's named.

To everyone else in the MLB: take a page from Lincecum's book. If there were more people out there that went into the game like he does, it would make it just that much more enjoyable to watch. Why? Because of passion. Passion for what you're doing, not about what and who you can afford to do off the field. It's what separates the good players from the great ones.

Allright, time to go watch Sukiyaki Western Django. Check out the trailer on apple trailers and you'll see why I ordered it from netflix as soon as it was released.

Quantum of Solace comes out this weekend as well. Excellent.

-Bloggi Out.

"Currahee!"

Standardize test this kid....

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, 49ERS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(Breathe)

(Breathe)




(fix broken desk...)



I swear to God, you guys are making it seem like your overriding objective is how badly you can lose these games, or at least how badly you can make yourselves look doing it. The only reason the game was so close last night was because the Cardinals got the same memo, so it turned into a game of sun-deprived dungeons and dragons nerds dragged out of their respective caves, castles, forests, and swamps (A.K.A basements, attics, treehouses, and.... well, swamps) and given a pigskin(no offense, Jobi). I could have sworn I saw a couple guys trying to cast spells on the line, which were misinterpreted as false starts.

But the Dungeon Master was worst of all, and was none other than Shaun Hill. I can't beat up on the kid too much, though, cuz he's a fresh replacement for the awful JT O'Sullivan, and doesn't have the experience to be able to harp on him too much. BUT STILL. It was like the coaching staff gave the rulebook to their little sister and said "OK. Go kill us some dragons"

I mean, seriously. An underhand forward pitch to a guy 10 yards in front of you covered by two defenders? THIS ISN"T 3rd GRADE FLAG FOOTBALL!!! The rest of the team is working hard for the most part, but that guy is starting to make rex grossman look like he can actually go onto the field without his juicy juice.

I'm sorry Shaun, it was just a miserable experience. I hope you get your sea legs under you and let Rex continue to be the one to bring his dinosaur lunchpail into the locker room.

Until then, thank god for college ball.

Ugh.

On a completely unrelated note, my friend got me a free ticket to see Freestyle Love Supreme with Lin Manuel Miranda, star and co writer of In The Heights, and it was fucking hysterical. 4 freestyle singers/rappers, 1 beatboxer, and a piano player doing a completely improved, musical comedy show. Genius. At one point they rapped their way through a scene where a group of Moose were gunned down by Sarah Palin in a helicopter, and then she was gored by the last remaining moose, who in his dying moments sang/screamed "OBAMAaaaaaaa!" All on the suggestion of the word "protection."

'nuff said.

Peace Sauce!


-Bloggi out.

"When does baseball season start?"

Paging Mr. Sunshine...paging Mr. Sunshine

Yeah, I could use a little of that right now, because this weekend has been bookended by rain delays preventing me from getting on planes. The games are under way, and I'm making a habit of putting up predictions while the games are going on, but I assure you, I am nowhere near a TV because I have to wait to see if maybe, just maybe, I can finally get back to New York...

So here's the picks, because it looks like I got a looooong time:

Jacksonville (-6.5) over Detroit - Detroit can be a spoiler against the spread, but they've finally shored up a bit and kept it under a touchdown, but I don't think that's going to make much difference with the QB situation. He was getting a little bit of a heckling from Chris Carter on the ESPN football show this morning, and I agree. I don't care if he's been keeping in shape, he hasn't had one week to learn how to run the offense, he's had one week with the team. The Lions will not be spoilers this week, no matter how bad Jacksonville is.

Tennessee (-3) over Chicago - I don't see how Unsexy Rexy is going to pull it out over the Titans. Tennessee will lose at some point, they won't run the table, but it won't be to the Bears and lowly Rex Grossman.

New England (-3.5) over Buffalo - I was on the Bills Bandwagon earlier this year. They looked like the cinderella team that was going to take the boys all the way to the big ball. Then they started losing. And losing sloppily. I don't think their season is shot, but I think they need to re-work some things. New England's loss to the Colts doesn't deter me from picking them this week. They've still got it, especially when it comes to their division matchups.

New Orleans (+1) over Atlanta - Everything in my gut is telling me this is the wrong pick, and maybe I should listen. But Drew Brees is playing great football right now, and one of these days the stars will allign for him and will allign against Michael Turner and Matt Ryan. This could be the game. The single point is a joke, I'm picking N.O. to win, and then later I will get my head examined.

Miami (-8.5) over Seattle - Giving Miami an almost double digit spread seems unthinkable to me considering where we were a year ago, but there is a new dawg in the pound, and one of the pups has grown up. Seattle is bad. I mean bad. Before they were down a couple receivers, then it was a couple receivers and a running back, now it's the receivers, running back, and quarterback. Throw in a bad defense and you have one of the worst teams in the league. Also, west coast/one o'clock game.

St. Louis (+9) over Jets - Why the Jets keep getting given ridiculous spreads is beyond me, because they sure as hell aren't covering them (Oakland, Kansas City). Without Jackson in the lineup, I'm a little less sold on the Rams as an offensive force, but I have to believe that they can cover the nine points they're getting against and aging and senile (I said senile) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. He is throwing it to guys who are not on his team and making it look like that's the play that was called. Come oooooooon.

Green Bay (+2.5) over Minnesota - I feel like I should go with Minnesota here. Green Bay can't stop the run and Minnesota has All-Day Adrian Peterson. That formula alone should say, "pick the Vikings." So why am I going Pack? Especially when Aaron Rodgers is not necessarily at full health? Because the Division matchups are always big big big games, and in those cases, the Packers rarely fail to dissapoint. Call it picking the mystique, but I'm going for it.

Carolina (-9) over Oakland - Is there any explanation needed? We're talking about Oakland. I feel like I don't want to waste my typing.

Kansas City (+15) over San Diego - Taking the points, otherwise KC is losing this game. But 15 points to a Chargers team that has looked underwhelming at best? They are doing their best impression of the 2008 Yankees by being a team that should be stacked, should be able to make it through the injuries, somehow isn't, but that everyone refuses to count out. Trust me, from the 5 frustrating months I endured through spring/summer/fall, it ain't happening. It's over. San Diego is bad, and will easily give those 15 points.

Pittsburgh (-3) over Indy - THIS is the game that Pittsburgh has been licking it's chops over. Peyton Manning is not mobile and the whole team seems slow and doddering except in short extreme bursts. All the Steel Curtain has to do is contain the explosions, and then play it's normal grinding football and try to pressure Peyton Manning. He won't be getting away from them, and the line is letting the threat through. Garrard has proved himself capable even if Ben sits, and I think this is a game they can win, but need for bragging rights.

Giants (+3) over Philly - Whoever set this line has to be kidding, right? I think there is a distinct possibility the Giants can get beat by Philly, in Philly...but the Giants are 7-1, are coming off whipping the Steelers and the Cowgirls, and you're telling me they're the underdog in Philly? Fine, give me the points, but I'd take them to win even. I'll even give you three. I don't care if I eat these words later (which I won't) - I am saying here and now, I will give you the three back. Giants will win. It will be tough, but they'll come through.

Baltimore (-1) over Houston - Baltimore is hungry and has found an offensive rhythm. Houson should be in a much better state than it is. What I'm saying is. I could not care less about this game, but the Ravens are clearly the better team. They're gently rapping at my chamber door.

Arizona (-9.5) over San Francisco - Arizona can blow open a division that is horrible. They can be in the playoffs again, and they could even win a playoff game. If I thought I would be saying that before the year started, I would have called myself a moron. But here they are, and they are winning. They have a lot of flaws, but I think they can at least sweep those under the rug for the 9ers, who have a way of making bad teams look good, good teams look better, and the best teams like they're playing a whole different sport than the 9ers are.

There they are, your picks of the week. Recap coming soon...

-Jobimoto out.
"Stone. Cold. Lead. Pipe. Locks."

Thursday game

It's happening already - football's being played on a Thursday...I have to make my pick now for the first game.

Cleveland (-3) over Denver - Welcome the Brady Quinn era! My fantasy team is staaaaaacked with young talent primed to take over next year (Brady Quinn, Tim Hightower, Donnie Avery) - that's a base right there! Unfortunately I'm also playing for the draft pick right now...but anyhow. I think Cleveland can win this game despite throwing Quinn into a new system with only four days to prepare, only because they have the luxury of playing against Denver. Horrible defense, and anemic looking offense of late, and Cleveland believing they're still in it. I'm taking Cleveland and giving the points.

Ok, off to Ohio for the weekend for my buddy's wedding. We'll see how that goes. If we're lucky, there will be a booze hazed, football oriented blog post.

-Jobimoto out.
"I can be your hero, baby..."

The WR Scale - I'm pulling a DeSean Jackson

Ok, so I'm a little late writing the picks, and some of the games are going on and some of my picks are way wrong, but we're going to pretend that it's ok. I'm pulling a DeSean Jackson on the Wide Receiver douchiness scale, and here's how they rank, douchiest to least douchey:

T.O. - Mister, "Getcha Popcorn" and "I love me some me" jumped ship in San Fran to go to the Eagles, helped them get to a super bowl, then promptly threw his team under the bus, claimed it was all Donovan's fault, held press conferences while working out in his driveway because he was holding out unless they traded him, gets to Dallas, and does a lot of crying over "his QB" while at the same time bitching when he doesn't get passes and gets fined for showboating.

Randy Moss - Mr. "Straight Cash, Homey" - looked like he was going to be a God in Minnesota until he decided, "I'm rich and famous, and I don't need to try" - he got shipped off to Oakland for being a loud mouth, having run ins with the law, and for refusing to throw blocks or play tough. He almost fades into obscurity, until he gets traded to New England, and becomes, "The Model Player" probably because he's close to a ring. He then winds up in a assault probe against a woman, which reminds everyone he hit a female cop with his car (a mere bump) and then when the Pats look like they're fading in the Superbowl, he starts pouting and not throwing blocks.

Michael Irvin - Does anyone forget that this guy was brought up on assault charges and wasn't there a rape charge brought against him? Also, when going up against the Redskins in a playoff game, the opposing CB was playing with a cast on his hand. They asked him, "What is your strategy for playing him," to which Irvin responded, "I'm going after that arm. I don't think it's healed." And he did. True class. Should maybe rank above Randy Moss if I get my facts straight.

Steve Smith - He has now sucker punched two teammates - TEAMMATES. This man has anger issues. He ranks above Plax only because Plax hasn't (yet) physically mixed it up with one of his teammates. Steve Smith hits dudes unaware, then offers thinly veiled apologies. D-bag.

Plaxico Burress - The more I think about it, the more I want to rank him above Steve Smith, because Steve Smith is at least taking it out on other people, whereas I'm not sure Plax is aware other people exist besides him. He might believe that he's the only guy on the field and the football magically appears in his hands. The thing that keeps him low for me is that on another team this would not go as noticed as with Coughlin and his "Team First. Team Last. Team Always." policy. This guy is a d-bag though. No bones about it.

Keyshawn Johnson - Pompous windbag who was never that good (see his book, "Just Give Me the Damn Ball"). Made history as one of the first WRs who wanted a number in the teens. For some reason, that always stuck with me, especially because he was bad on multiple teams that both overpaid him. And now he's an overpaid analyst, so we have to hear him whine more.

Chad Ocho Cinco - Surprisingly low on my list. He bitches, he moans, but at the end of the day, he acknowledges it's to put on a show. When asked why he was changing his name to ocho cinco, he laughed and said, "because I can." This is just the case of the guy who loves the spotlight on him, like the kid who gets the Mohawk just to get it so people will say, "Cool Mohawk" - sidenote, most of the Bengals receiving corps (besides T.J.) would be on this list if they were good enough to qualify.

DeSean Jackson - He is here mainly incident in the Dallas game where he started showboating before the TD and flipped the ball out of his hand at the 1 yard line. He's a rookie, and they did recover and score anyway, but he has all the makings of a great douchebag WR, especially since he did something similar in a nationally televised HS game.

Joe Horn - Low on the totem pole, but he was a massive smack talker. Only here because he took a pen out of his shoe, autographed the football, and gave it to someone in the stands after a touchdown catch. That's just awesome.

Picks:
Houston (+5.5) over Minnesota

Jacksonville (-7) over Cincy - There is no way Cincy should win this game, Palmer's still out, and they are horrible. But lo and behold, they are leading currently.

KC (+9.5) over Tampa Bay - Why not? KC almost took down a not great Jets team last week and covered for me.

Buffalo (-5) over Jets - See above. The Jets are not good, and Buffalo is soon to get a second wind. This is the battle of the Lesser New York teams.

St. Louis (+3) over Arizona - Should be a massive shootout with both teams having no defense to speak of. However, it's 10-7 with the half ending...killing my fantasy team (4 players in that game, all or nothing)

Detroit (+12.5) over Chicago - Probably the worst possible pick of the week, I just can't believe that Detroit can't cover with the points.

Tennessee (-3.5) over Green Bay - Green Bay won't stand up to the last unbeaten team in the NFL.

*Jets just missed a field goal going into the half, Buffalo is coming back, I feel it.*

Miami (+4) over Denver - this is my ASG pick. Denver has looked miserable lately, and I don't expect that to change.

Atlanta (-3) over Oakland - the raiders suck, pure and simple.

GIANTS (-8.5) over Dallas - Come on. Who else am I gonna pick? (Look for the Cowgirls to cover the spread, but the Giants will win. If they don't, it's a shame, I mean, the Dallas secondary sucks, the line isn't holding, and Brad Johnson can throw about 10 yards downfield, making it impossible to exploit the Giants own questionable secondary, should be in the bag.)

Philadelphia (-7) over Seattle

New England (+6.5) over Indianapolis - This should be the best game of the year, and the schedule planners wept their eyes out when Brady went down for the year and Manning the Elder decided to look like Manning the Lesser (I know the reference doesn't really apply because it's a father/son reference...so bite me). Indy looks like a dog this year. Just a complete dog. New England flashes between amazing and boring. My prediction - I'll watch it, but I won't like it.

Pittsburgh (+2) over Washington - this is a friend pick, I'll admit. Pittsburgh, even undermanned, hung in there tight against the G-Men (did I mention that game was awesome), but they are 0-2 against the NFC Beast (and yes, only a-holes, wankers, and fanboys refer to it as that, and yes, I am all three). Washington will present some problems for them, but even undermanned, I think they can handle it. It all depends on the O-line, if Big Ben comes a-tumbling down, then we got some problems. I'll still take Pittsburgh, and the two points. It will be close, that I am sure of.

-Jobimoto out
Way to pull a Randy Moss. Douche.

Tampa Loses

This is how little anyone cares about Philly "winning" the world series. On ESPN they had it as their cover story, but not in any blown out of proportion way as they are usually wont to do. Right next to it they had BREAKING NEWS: Oden out 2-4 weeks. The Phillies are the champions of professional baseball and breaking news is that Greg Oden is out 2-4 weeks?

It was a joke. Outside of Cole Hamels being his dominating self and Ryan Howard remembering that he was in fact Ryan Howard, I didn't see anything that made me think the Phillies won this series. I watched the Rays not show up, forget how to hit, and saw the outcome of a secret team meeting in which they said to each other, "Hey, let's play like it's 2007 tonight, gang!" Although I had picked the Rays to win, this worked out much like I saw it working out. My feeling was that the Phillies could beat the Rays, but not the Sawx, and that the Dodgers could beat the Sawx, but not the Rays. Mind you, that was a "could," my expectation was that the Rays could run the table, but they didn't. May they become the '07 White Sox next year for failing to man up. I'm embarrassed that we're saying goodbye to baseball in '08 in this fashion. Congrats, Philadelphia, you sucked the least this year.

God, the Phillies were unimpressive - I can't get over it. Ok, recaps:

None of my picks that actually came to fruition were major events for me. Except one, we'll get to that. I picked the Chiefs to cover, and that is what we call a Smart bet, considering how poorly the Jets had played a week before and still could not cover the spread. The chips were stacked against them for that, but KC is horrible, and I would say I earned my money on that pick.

Miami beating Buffalo was a shocker. Today I heard Jim Kelly talking about how really there are only 2 games a year you have to win if you're Buffalo - the two you play against the Dolphins. By the way, in case no one's noticed, Miami is 2-1 in the division...keep your eyes peeled.

Tampa Bay could have beaten Dallas, had both teams remembered that they were playing football. Watching Dallas celebrate their victory almost made me pity them...almost.

St. Louis just barely, BARELY made their points and cost me what I thought was an easy win. Oh, and Steven Jackson sat and killed my fantasy team. Who didn't sit and also helped kill my fantasy team? Anquan Boldin, who along with the rest of the Cards, earned a tie (point wise) against the Carolina F*ing Panthers (CFP as I shall refer to them from here on out). It should be mentioned that this was the first time all year that a team from the west playing on the east coast even earned so much as a tie against the spread. Still, no team from the west has won a 1 oclock game on the east this year. Mark that one down.

Washington was unable to cover the spread against a struggling Detroit team but earned a tie points wise, making me think that maybe Washington isn't as nasty as they had appeared. Then again, the Giants are arguably one of the best teams in the NFL, and they almost lost to the Bengals and did indeed lose to the Browns.

I would like to point out my prophetic powers with my AGS (Any Given Sunday) pick. The whole game felt like, "This shouldn't be happening," until the final score came and said, "Holy Shit, it happened." I think going forward I will now be instituting this pick, which in reality will allow me to pick whatever team I want and suffer the Loss, but no repercussions for a poor pick.

Seattle won the battle of Who Could Care Less, much as I thought they would, but that was anyone's guess. Both teams were so anemic coming in that I was actually going to pick the Refs in that one, and closer study of game video might have shown that they did in fact come out on top...

Indy sucks. Badly. Only one Manning has shown up this year, which leads me to my next point...

GIANTS WIN! GIANTS WIN! They were tested in the Steel City, but they came out on top. A lot has been made of Pittsburgh's long snapper getting injured, necessetating a replacement, and said replacement blowing open the game. This was a Momentum Changer, but it was not by any means a deciding factor on the game. The score was only tied, and with Pittsburgh punting from its field position, it is very likely that the Giants would have started in an even better place to drive toward the goal line. But we will never know. The truth is the snap did sail over the punter's head, and went out for a safety, and the Giants reaped the benefits. I was at a bar and must have made the safety sign about 15 times in succession. Not much is known after that. I remember cheering and chest bumping, drinking beers and singing, "There's only ooooooooone Eli Maaaaaanning!" Oh, and Justin Tuck is a BAD man. He will hurt you! The Giant's D kept them in that game, as did the O-line which yielded zero sacks to the Steel Curtain. God I love football. Picks coming up in a couple days. Getcha popcorn.

This week: 6-6-2


As a bonus for this week's pick, I will unveil the "Wide Receiver Douchiness" scale a couple of my buddies and I came up with. It will be a delight.

-Jobimoto out.
Would you say that was more of a Randy Moss or a Plaxico Burress?

Week 8

I literally spent about 4 minutes trying to come up with a name for this week's entry, and then I said, "F it." This is week 8. I watched the Rangers come from behind against the Penguins last night at the Garden and it was amazing. Now I've got some Wolfmother pumping and I'm ready to bring to you the picks for week 8.

Baltimore (-7.5) over Oakland - Please. Oakland sucks. It's a 1 oclock game on the East in which Oakland is traveling. They suck, Baltimore is hungry, and still no west coast team has won at 1pm this year coming East. I'll take Baltimore and give the points. No brainer.

New Orleans (+3) over San Diego - In London, so no team is really home, although N.O. is getting screwed on the schedule because this counts as one of their home games. I'm going to go along with Mike Golic on this, and say that San Diego got smacked around coming East last week, then has to travel again? I just don't think they're going to put it together. However, New Orleans is without Reggie Bush, who, apart from Brees, is their Playmaker. Depending on the weather, this could be another debacle like last year. I'm taking New Orleans and the points.

Kansas City (+14) over Jets - One of those, "am I actually writing this?" picks, but we're talking about giving 14 points to a Jets team that lost by 3 to the Raiders last week. Something doesn't sit right there. Kansas City is Bad, but if a team as Ugly as Oakland can beat the Jets, I think it opens the flood gates and raises a lot of questions about Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre (apologies to Greg Easterbrook). I'll take the points.

Buffalo (-1) over Miami - It's a pretty close line, but I don't think Miami's winning this game. They've been struggling a little bit, though they appear better than they are. The Bills on the other hand are a legit contender, and I don't think they lose this game. Divisional match ups are what they need to feast on right now, and they are hungry. Buffalo by 1 at least.

Tampa Bay (+2) over Dallas - Again, "am I really writing this?" At +2 I'm saying that I think Tampa Bay is going to win this game. Do I think they will? I'm not so sure. Do I think they can? Definitely. Dallas cannot be as bad as they are looking right now, and the same argument was made of the Giants last year when they lost and lost Ugly. The Cowgirls have looked like a mess at the best of times recently, and until they prove me wrong, I think the safe money is on the other team, even in Big D.

Atlanta (+9) over Philly - This is an interesting one. ESPN has Philly at -5.5, but Vegas has it at 9. I think Matt Ryan is going to run into a buzz-saw, a whole different beast than he is used to playing against, but this team continues to surprise me and Philly continues (thankfully) to disappoint. Turner has been a horse this year, and has proven his stud status. Still a lot of questions in Philly, that's why I think Atlanta will cover, though not necessarily win. I'll take the points.

New England (-7.5) over St. Louis - Will the real 2008 Patriots please stand up? Last week they were monsters against a Broncos team that I was certain would show the Patriots the meaning of the word respect. Instead that game was over before it started. St. Louis is Back, there is no doubt about it, but just how Back? I don't think they can waltz into Gilette and take this game, especially with Jackson at questionable strength. I'll take New England and give the points, and probably be horribly burned by this flip-flopping team.

Carolina (-4) over Arizona - We all know the rule by now, I refuse to pick based on Carolina. This time I'm not, simply playing the 1pm percentages with the west coast traveling east. Until a team from the pacific time zone is able to win on the east coast at 1pm, I'm picking the east coast teams without a second glance. Hope Hightower goes in today though, I need some pts in FF.

Washington (-8) over Detroit - Leaving behind the, "No point spread is large enough," talk that tends to get me in trouble, I think this is an extremely coverable gap, especially for a Washington team that needs to flex some muscle, and especially against a Detroit team that looks like it could be helped by putting me in the slot for a couple plays. Taking Washington, giving the points.

Jacksonville (-7) over Cleveland - Cleveland's depleted, has locker room turmoil, and is 1-2 on the road, facing a Jacksonville team that is a better football team. The Any Given Sunday factor is coming in here, and I would have to make this my Any Given Sunday pick of the week, in which for no reason whatsoever the team that should not be able to win can manhandle the opposition. But alas, this is not my AGS pick, I'm still going with the Jags and giving the points.

Giants (+3) over Pittsburgh - IT IS ON! This is a true battle, though the Steelers missing Parker and Polamalu is big, as well as them potentially losing Santonio Holmes to the weed bust. Pittsburgh has classically played the most grinding football I have ever seen, and the Giants can hang tough with it, but I think they will be best served trying to play their own game. In the air is where the Steelers can win this game, as the Giants' secondary has looked lost at the best of times recently, but count on the G-Men to stop the run, especially if Antonio Pierce is back in the lineup. The Giants need to keep Eli off his back, and they are the key to this game. If the O-line performs, then it's going to be Giants. Still, I'll take the points, but picking Giants to Win.

Seattle (+5.5) over San Francisco - Really? Are either of these teams capable of winning a game? I am not convinced that either of these would be the correct pick. I only picked Seattle because I saw firsthand how bad San Fran was last week. Look for JT O'Sullivan to lose this game, not for Seattle to win. That's about all I can say. This is the type of football game that makes Baby Jesus cry.

Houston (-9) over Cincinnati - Wow. When I thought you couldn't get more boring than the last game I picked, Houston and Cincy come to town. Awesome. Houston and give the points, because honestly, Cincy couldn't win with Palmer, he's done, and they suck. They SUCK. To quote Homer,"I've seen teams suck before, but man did these guys suck. They were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked." This doesn't get an Any Given Sunday pick either, because Houston is better than their record and can easily cover the spread against a team that should just be stricken from the existence of the NFL.

Indianapolis (+4) over Tennessee - FINALLY! Another good game in the NFL after the Giants/Steelers game. Tennessee is a juggernaut this year, not unlike the character from the pages of X-Men. They are big, they are mean, they are forces of nature and they will eventually be Beat, but they will not be Defeated. Indy needs a win more than anything, especially against AFC South rival/leader Tennessee. This could be their season. They go to 4-3 and gain ground against the Titans, or they drop to 3-4 and start thinking about the draft pick and what commercials Peyton will be doing in the off-season. I am still convinced that Indy can win any game, any day of the week when the stakes are high enough. This is a Foolish pick, I know. There is nothing indicating that they should win this game, but sometimes you gotta go with your gut.

-Jobimoto out.
Crosby is stopped, Rangers win in OT!!!

If you don't love this car, you have no soul.

Go here and look at this amazing Lamborghini concept car. Now

I am not really a car person, there are certain ones I like, but nothing that has ever made my jaw drop like this beauty. It has become my obsession. I need it. I want it. Or at least to touch it. Sitting in the driver's seat of it might actually give me super powers or at least convert me to pure kinetic energy. I am entranced by its Siren's song for at least another 15 minutes, which is more than most things can do...

Also, it took me about five minutes to realize there was a girl standing next to that car. You could but Giselle next to that car and I'd STILL be looking at the car. That's how amazing it is. If you put Giselle on that car...my brain would explode.

-Jobimoto out.
Look at that car again. NOW!

Consider the pain broughten.

My picks last week were awesome - for the one oclock games. I went 7-1 and got screwed by who? That's right, the Carolina Panthers who ripped the Saints apart. Detroit covered the spread by a point and a half, but the Jets' played one of the worst games of football I've ever seen, Washington and Tampa both didn't cover the points, Indy got destroyed by the Packers, and Broncos were sent back to Denver with their tail tucked between their legs after being beat in what? A shootout. I finished at 8-6. Not that impressive, but better than previous weeks.

Steven Jackson carried my fantasy team, it was a pretty good day. Tampa Bay is in the Series starting tonight, and I think either them or the Phillies winning is a sign of the impending apocalypse.

-Jobimoto out.
Abandon hope, all ye who enter here...

Bring the Pain!

Today will be a special day for Blogi and I. His team (49ers) are coming east to play my team (GIANTS BABY!) and we are actually in the same city to watch this event unfold together. Maybe we'll get some live blogging in, but more likely than not we're just going to sit here yelling at the TV, and as soon as the game turns into a rout by Eli and the G-Men (somewhere around 12 minutes to go in the second quarter), I'm sure we'll wax rhapsodic about more pressing issues - but what could be more important than sports on a Sunday in the fall? The Rays are failing to deliver the killing blow, the Rangers are starting off well, and there's even hope that the Knicks won't be a public embarrassment to New York this year. Smell that? It's turning leaves and the best time of year to be a sports fan.

All that being said, I want a nickname. I can hear you now, "But Jobi...that IS your nickname!" Well, tough turkey. I want a nickname like, "Swami," or, "Guru," or, "White Chocolate Thunder." I know all of these names are already taken, but I want something for Sundays for when I make my bold predictions that cannot be backed up. That being said, on with the show...

Tennessee (-9) over Chiefs - Tennessee is now the lone unbeaten team left in the NFL, but that is not to say they will stay that way indefinitely. They will lose, but not to the Chiefs. The nine points may be a bit much, especially considering that Kerry Collins is under center for this team, but the Chiefs are not impressive. I'm taking Tennessee's defense to ice the game.

Buffalo (-1) over San Diego - It will happen some time this year that a west coast team will win a 1 o'clock game being played on the east coast, but until someone actually does, I'm going with history on this one. The Chargers could be the exception that proves the rule, but they (read - Phillip Rivers) have disappointed me so many times this year that I'm picking the Bills.

Pittsburgh (-9.5) over Cincinnati - Honestly, what are the Bengals doing this year? Last week they proved they couldn't cover a double digit spread against the Jets, who are by no means a powerhouse, and reports have been flying that the fans have given up on the season, sold their tickets to Stillers fans, and will be crying into their chili-mac as Pittsburgh rolls over these loser having lost all home field advantage.

Baltimore (+3) over Miami - Miami lost a close one last week that they should have won, and even though that may have soured me a little, I still think they're a good team. Baltimore got blown out of the water last week and I think they are better than that score reflects. They will be hungry, they are a defensive team, and they will have been studying the wildcat for the past week. I'm taking Baltimore and the points.

St.Louis (+7.5) over Dallas - As I wrote that pick I had to look again and say, "am I really doing this?" Losing Romo is not as bad as people are making it out to be, and the addition of Roy Williams is going to make a big difference for Dallas, even though T.O. is clearly losing a step. Losing Pacman is going to be addition by subtraction for the Cowgirls, because - as people have only recently started pointing out - he was never Great, just Good. He was not a huge factor this year, but the cameras ate him up every time he had a tackle or a big hit. Dallas' defense has looked both locked in and also sieve-like at times, and if St. Louis can take advantage of the latter and generate some offense, I'll take the Rams and the points. With all their weapons, they can't possibly be as bad as they are...can they?

Chicago (-3) over Minnesota - Both of these teams look very different since last they met, but none of them look good. They are technically tied for first in their division, but nobody looks like they actually want it. What an underachieving group of losers. With Peterson going toe to toe with the Bears' D, this should be an exciting game to watch, but for some reason I think I'd rather watch paint dry than see these two teams, one of whom will make the playoffs by default, go at it.

New Orleans (+3) over Carolina - I am sick of picking Carolina. Just sick of it. They burn me every damn week. They're the favorite, they don't cover the spread. They're the underdog, they STILL don't cover the damn spread. So F them. From now on every time Carolina is in a game I will not even consider them when making the pick. Drew Brees is great. He gets the +3. If I were a gambling man, I would avoid the Panthers and their games like a new plague.

Giants (-10.5) over 49ers - This is a fan bet. Can they Giants cover the spread? Yes. Will they cover it? I'm not so sure. I think that they might play a little conservative last week considering the loss the Browns, which will not be to the Giants advantage. If they win the coin toss, they should come out with the long strike right away to set the tone of the game, let Eli get comfortable, and turn this into the rout it should be. The 49ers are a Pacman Jones team right now - Good, not Great. They are an Enigma in a league full of Questions. If the D-line can shut down Frank Gore, I have no problem with this pick. Coincidentally, I think Jacobs is going to have a field day.

Detroit (+9.5) over Houston - I can't rationalize not taking these points against a Houston team that should be better than 1-4 but somehow isn't. Detroit is 0-5, and feel as they should be 0-8 7 weeks into the season. What everyone talks about is the ineptitude last week when their quarterback ran out of the end zone, cost them a safety, and they lost by 2. They lost by 2 to Minnesota! Do you know how much freaking money was lost on that game?? Even with the ungodly spread they had, I don't think anyone in their right mind picked Detroit and the points. Which is why I am doing it this week and Vegas will take me to the cleaners.

Jets (-3) over Oakland - Nothing about this game or this line makes me think anything is amiss. The Jets have a soft schedule and should keep winning games. Brett "I'm going to call Tony Romo and make him look like a p*ssy" Favre can still throw those bombs, I think this is an easy call.

Washington (-7.5) over Cleveland - Both teams are fired up. Cleveland's season is now not lost, and Washington needs to re-assert itself. In the crazy flipflopping world, look for the team that lost to the Giants to beat the piss out of the only team this year to beat the Giants. Home field is going to play a factor for Washington, and I think they can harass Anderson enough to get him out of his comfort zone and returning to his early season form. He was a bust in this year's draft, and as I was picking him I said, "bad call." I picked up Eli (good call), and Brady Quinn who is going to be a stud, even if they convert him to Linebacker - I mean, have you seen this guy?? The clipboard he's carrying must be made out of 45 lb plates. He is jacked. Actually, he is so huge that pretty soon, they will stop saying, "jacked," and start saying, 'Bradyed" or "Quinned." You see that guy on the bench? He's totally Quinned.

Indianapolis (-1) over Green Bay - This is why Vegas gets paid. One point is not enough to really give any indication of how this game is going (which is Indy's way), and is enough to entice Indy fans to say, "They can cover that easy!" and Green Bay fans to say, "Only one point? We can totally beat this team!" Both fan bases will open their wallets, Green Bay more so if someone gives them decent odds, and it will be an 8 point game either way. Vegas may not know much about football, but they know about making their money. Regardless, Peyton Manning is back to form, the Pack looks a little confused, even coming off the win in Seattle, and my money is on Vegas (-10) over poor schmucks like me.

Tampa Bay (-10.5) over Seattle - Another, "am I really making this pick?" moment. But indeed I am. Seattle has shown no life, Tampa Bay has looked strong (did I just write that), but the time change will not be a factor. But why is this the evening game? Who cares! I will be shocked if I am still watching this game at 8:15pm, even with Julius Jones running.

Denver (+3) over New England - Denver needs to bring one strategy to this game - shootout. Their defense is porous at best, but Cassel has proved only one thing this year, and that's the fact that he can't go toe to toe in a slugfest. He is the guy bringing a knife to a gunfight. The Patriots' D is aging, slow, and can be taken advantage of by the Broncos, even in Gillette stadium. If the Broncos come out swinging, put some early points on the board, and take the air out of New England, this game could turn very one-sided.

-Jobimoto out.
"Where'd they get trenchcoats?"

Nostradamus, I am not

The humbling thing about picking football games is that you sound very smart going into it, there are pundits and professionals who agree with you, and then the week happens and you look like a moron. I have a few gems, from last week, a few skin of the teeth wins, and some times where not only was I wrong, but I think most of the free world was with me.

Oh, and I will now henceforth be commenting on the Giants game, since my tactic of not picking the game proved less that helpful to them. I don't wanna talk about it:

Recap:
The Bungles got creamed by the Jets and didn't cover the double digit spread. Earlier in the week when the line was Jets by 5.5, I took the Jets, and that was with Palmer starting. Why I thought Fitzgerald was only a 4.5 point swing will forever elude me.

Can my comments on Carolina being a more impressive team than the Bucs be stricken from the record? I'm glad I wasn't the only one who made that call...

Not only did Minnesota not cover the 13.5 spread against a Detroit team that looked like it was running defensive tactics reminiscent of Poland in 1939, they didn't even score 13.5 points, and they shouldn't have escaped Detroit with the W. But sometimes the natural order of things is preserved, and Detroit should be punished for sucking so badly for so long.

Atlanta needed some magic, but not the points when all was said and done. Even if they had missed the field goal, they would have covered the spread - pretty nifty.

Miami should have won their game against the Texans, but instead they botched a do or die goal line stand in the closing seconds of the fourth quarter. My jaw dropped as Schaub sauntered into the endzone.

Washington losing to St. Louis blew my mind, and as soon as I saw it I said, "The Giants are going to lose this week." When something that weird happens, you know more dominoes are going to fall, which leads to -

Dallas getting beat. Don't get me wrong, I looooove to see the Cowgirls get smacked around, I think it should happen more often and will be happening with Romo out of there (they will not miss Pacman - he was a failed experiment for the most part, Dallas' secondary scared no one). But I was wrong when I said Arizona was not the Sexy pick for the week. Not only was Arizona the Sexy pick, but they turned out to be that gorgeous girl who wants to get freaky with you after watching Star Wars - we all know what I'm talking about.

Philly whipped the Niners. No contest. Am I an idiot? Same thing with Green Bay at Seattle. Classic Vegas odds making. Oh, and the Giants got beat silly and I'm counting them as a pick.

For the week: 5-9 (sidenote, if I had stayed with the picks I made earlier in the week: 8-6).
Rank: Wishy-washy waster

Fantasy team: Sucked. None of my RBs scored and Eli got manhandled, as did the Giants D, both of whom I was counting on.

Next week: I make a pick on the Giants game, objectively, but still make verbal love to my team for way too long to be comfortable.

-Jobimoto out.
I got a realllll pigeon here...

Football Picks - week 6

Ok, admittedly, it is a little late in the season to be starting this, but I feel it is my duty to put my weekly picks against the line out there to the world to prove just how much Vegas knows over the average football nutter. I would be seriously in the red so far because Vegas may not know football, but it knows how to Win, and in Vegas, the house always Wins.

There are is only one real rule I have about making picks though - I will never comment on the Giants games, because it is a lock that I will always be erring on the side of my beloved Boys in Blue. Betting against the team you love is a Gambler's move, and putting your money where your heart is has always been a Sucker's move, and as I like to think of myself as neither of these things, I will abstain from commenting on the game, because that will only bring negativity to my team - just assume I always pick them to win. So with the home team in bold and without further ado:

New Orleans (-7) over Oakland - Teams traveling from west to the east, or even to the central time zone, on a 1 oclock start, go through hell. On top of that, Oakland sucks, and even if they've been working on a variation of the Wildcat Offense that is carrying Miami and made McFadden the commodity he is, there is no hope. I think you could give them 9 and I'd still take N.O.

Indianapolis (-4) over Baltimore - This is one of those games that I think the oddsmakers know what they're doing. Indianapolis could very well be at 0-4 right now, but they have prayed to the Football Gods, made sacrifices and are standing at a very shaky 2-2. But Baltimore has not come up big when needed, and I think Peyton and company are ready to get back on track. And Vegas would be ready to take my money.

Bengals (+10) over Jets - Palmer's out, but still look for Cincy to cover the spread. They hung in against Dallas and if it hadn't been for poor play calling/clock management, they could have gotten their first win of the season. Of course, what do I know? I picked the Browns to be the monsters of the North.

Carolina (+2) over Bucs - The Bucs have been underwhelming at best, and I think the Panthers have too many weapons to not pull this one out.

Minnesota (-13.5) over Detroit - No point spread is large enough. Detroit has looked like a bunch of overwhelmed tortoises released from the zoo into a large pot of terrapin soup. Woe be any defender that gets in the way of Adrian Peterson - he will be picking turf out of the crevices of his helmet.

Atlanta (+3) over Chicago - I'm not sure I heard the question, but Kyle Orton is not the answer. He has held out long enough without making himself look like a bumbling idiot, but smoke and mirrors only go so far. Turner is going to switch on the afterburners and torch the Bears.

Miami (+3) over Houston - Houston should not be 0-4. Additionally, the Dolphins should not be 2-2. No one has figured out the Wildcat, and while it's not the case that no one ever will, it won't be the Texans.

Washington (-12) over St. Louis - See my evaluation on Minnesota/Detroit. Why am I contemplating playing Steven Jackson today?? Stupidity. I ultimately have decided to sit him, watch him blow up for 3.

Jaguars (+3.5) over Broncos - Everything in my gut is telling me to pick the Broncos - at home, team coming from the east, killer offense - but I just don't think they're going to get it done. They have no defense and they have been exposed. That loss to K.C. not only wounded their pride, but any other team that plays them has to smell that delicious mix of blood and failure.

San Francisco (+4.5) over Philly - Without Westbrook, the Eagles are a different team, and even with him last week, they are less than thrilling. Mix in the travel, and I'm taking the 9ers and the points.

Dallas (-4.5) over Zona - This week's Sexy pick is the Cardinals to upset the Cowboys. However, like so many before them, the Cards will come close but will not get the cigar. High scoring game, and my boy Tim Hightower is going to rack up some points, and will be one of those rare 18th round picks I won't get to keep for next year.

Seattle (-1) over Green Bay - The Pack seem to be a giant punching bag these days, and I don't think they're pulling it together against the Seahawks. Julius Jones is going to run all over them like he historically has - or at least he better or my fantasy team is screwed and I'll be wishing I put in Jackson. Or Grant.

*Sidebar* How do I have four talented Running Backs in Jackson, Ryan Grant, Jones, and Hightower, and I only play them when they DON'T score? It's killing me. I could be 4-1 right now, instead I'm 1-3-1. Horrid.

San Diego (-5) over New England - There won't be a winner, but there will be a loser in this. Look for New England to play worse than the Chargers. This is also another example of Vegas being smart and setting a line that seems reasonable and idiots like me will take the favorite when really they should take the points. I'll figure this game out by the end of the season...

Plus the game that shall not be mentioned. There will have to be a great line or a great argument for me to actually comment on it.

Coming soon - the weekly recap, and once I get to work and find my sheet, my yearly record.

-Jobimoto out.
We're going for 2!

Things and Stuff

I want to congratulate Blogi for stepping up to the plate and announcing the return of our awesomeness - or maybe that our awesomeness never went away, but was simply dormant and has now returned with a vengeance: a powerful, piss and vinegar vengeance.

There is a lot to talk about, and there is little to talk about. The Yankees rolled over like whipped curs around two months ago, after going on an 8 game win streak after the All-Star break to get us believing, and when everyone had finally given up hope, they were 6 games back with six to play and a three game series against the Red Sox. The Yanks won and the Sawx lost. 5 left to play, 5 down. A Boston win ices it. And they did it. Those freakin' jerks. They then had the nerve to go and smack the Halos around like a punching bag, pissing all over the "Angels are way better than the Sox and they are built to win" argument I got into with a friend in July that almost led to me reaching through the computer, over the internet, and physically shaking him through his monitor.

A lot has changed since then. There's a great football season going on at both the professional and collegiate level, but that isn't what I'm thinking about right now. I'm thinking about baseball and all the horrid teams that haven't won in years (Cubs specifically, Mets and Phillies come to mind). Has anyone noticed that the the four teams in the two most recent expansions - Arizona ('98), Tampa Bay ('98), Colorado ('93), and Florida ('93) - have 4 trips to the World Series between them, while in that time, the Cubs - starting with a firm foundation, long history, and big bank account - have no trips to the Series. In that time the Phillies have gone once ('93), the Mets have gone once, ('00), the Red Sox have gone twice (and won both might I add), the Braves have gone 3 times (won once), the Cardinals twice (won once), and the Yankkes have gone 6 times (4 rings baby).

Now I'm not going to sit here and make unfounded claims that indicate I believe expansion teams have an easier time - I don't. But what I do believe is that there are extablished clubs that are doing things horribly wrong. There are teams that have just been horrible - Pirates, Royals, Reds, Expos/Nationals that beg the question - are you trying to put a winning product out there or are you just trying to get your revenue dollars? These teams baffle me. What baffles me more though are the losers - the Cubs, the Orioles, and until recently the Dodgers - teams that put a ton of money on the field and do absolutely nothing. The Orioles haven't gotten it together since the mid-90's. The Cubs have been a threat for a few years now, but they just choke. The Phillies will see their day before the Cubs do. I'm convinced the Rockies will, even after that choke job they pulled in the World Series last year; and don't forget the Rays. They are young, they are talented, and they are going to be a power for a looooong time.

Some of this losing is criminal - and who should we blame: the organizations that don't field a good team and comfortably take their cut of the revenue sharing, or the fans who don't protest how poorly they are treated by their teams? The closest thing we have seen to that is when Pirates fan publicly rallied to stage a walkout, then only a fraction of the fans did because the Pirates were leading when the walkout was supposed to happen. You can't win a battle you don't fight.

-Jobimoto out.
"And that, Tom, is what really Grinds my Gears..."

Bloggi's great return

Tim Lincecum deserves the Cy Young.

I watched him pitch live and in person at the Giant's last game of the season; the kid has the blood of Zeus in him. Literally. He throws bolts of lightning.

For real, though, his form and consistency (sans that 9 run pounding earlier in the week - his only such day I might add) are thoroughly a sight to behold. At a mere 23 years old, he stands at 5' 11'' and a measly 170 lbs. And yet, he can again and again shoot at 98mph fastball down the pipe against the league's best, sports a 2.62 ERA, has limited opposing batters to an infantile .167 average and finished with a jaw-dropping 265 strikeouts - the highest in BOTH leagues and the secon-highest in Giants HISTORY. Up until the last week he led the MLB in both ERA and strikeouts. Unfortunately he had his one bad day of the season and knocked his ERA down to 3rd. The only reason he isn't competitive in all 3 categories for pitchers (which adds wins) is that the Giants offense couldn't provide Lincecum with run support if the opposing teams set up a little league pitching machine on the mound and handed out 'roids to the lineup like it was bubblegum. He finished the season with 18 wins, only 4 behind the leaders in that category. He could have easily gotten that many if he had any decent offensive support behind him. The fact that he won 18 is a near miracle in on itself.

That being said, I had the astounding opportunity to witness the Giants ruin the end of the Dodgers' season TWICE in one weekend, which was incredible. Their 10-inning nail-biter over their old rivals on Friday nearly made me shit myself. It was a 3 hour 40 minute test of my faith in superstitions, as I tried drinking beer at the right times in conjunction with the Giants being at bat and calculated the best time to consume the allmighty Gilroy Garlic Fries and hope the toxic garlic cloud might interfere with the Dodgers' ability to stay focused.

It worked.

Brian Wilson just about blew the save from Brad Henessy, who had his first quality start in a while and kept the Dodgers to only 2 runs despite his 8.5 ERA. BUT the offense actually came up in a pinch (for once) and tied it in the bottom of the 9th and went on to shove it up LA's ass in the 10th.

Now Sunday's game was just an all out day of me jumping out of my bleacher seat and pounding my fist in the air. Lincecum recorded 9 kills in the first 3 innings. We were sitting in the centerfield bleachers and had the perfect TV camera view of every mezmerizing pitch. He went on to mark down 13 kills over 7 innings (a tie for his personal best in one game), holding LA to 3 hits and 1 run.

Watch this to get a taste.

Add to this that we gave Omar Visquel a standing ovation when he left the field, as it was likely his last, at least with the Giants. Granted, he didn't post phenomenal numbers this season, but he's been a cornerstone of the veteran heart and spirit for a long time. Also add to this that Brian Frandsen made a return to the plate after having Achilles tendon surgery (can you imagine that?!), Peter Magowan officially retired, AND

get this:

I got to run the bases at AT&T Park! Hellz yeah, that's right. I got to be on the field and run the bases. For those of you that know me, I have video and picture proof.

Needless to say I had one of the most incredible weekends of my life.

Here's to 2009, Giants. Let's get over .500, shall we?



-Bloggi Out

"What's that smell?..... Ahhhh, yes. Defeat."