No one's posted in a while, and you know why? Because we're under the heel of the damn boot that is the American workforce. We are wage slaves, or more accurately, salary slaves in the case of my cohort and I. But who really gives a toss? It's the same thing, we show up every day, clock in, and our main goal is not to get yelled at too much, or not have to do anything too degrading to keep our jobs (such as tell clients directly, "Yes, I really do care about your problems and they WILL be fixed, by God!") - all so that, if we're lucky, we can fuck around for fifteen minutes and not have to face the grim reality: we are sliding ever faster down a slippery slope.
At the bottom of this chasm is adulthood and real life waiting with open jaws, sharp teeth, and waggling tongue - all of it looking shockingly like the Great Pit of Carkoon, the resting place of the ever hungry Sarlacc. Boba Fett got out, but he had Mandalorian Combat Armor, a disintegrator, concussion grenade launcher, and a jet pack. How the fuck am I am ever going to get out? I have a B.F.A. in Acting and minors in computer science and English. Unless I hit it big, I am stuck. Hell, I would trade hitting it medium just to get out of the tedium which is this nine to five (or more accurately, nine until whenever the hell I finish).
This whole scenario is the old American way, nothing shocking about it, not in the least. But there is a new American way, my friends, and it comes to you dressed in false hopes and in the guise of progress. The new American way is the backhanded promotion, full of responsibility, but with no authority, and of course, no pay increase. It's a target on your back people - a big red bullseye that says, "SHOOT THIS IDIOT FIRST!" I am wearing several right now, and everyone from Corporate Snipers to petty thugs seems to be licking their chops. I am the camel in the desert, slow as shit and headshots like a motherfucker. No leading required...stationary targets are fun. I say this only because I was on a conference call yesterday with the client and the helpdesk, catching flak from them while simultaneously getting yelled at by several of my employees over IM. And the office cat wanted his belly scratched...everyone's a critic. I'm 25...and you're telling me this is what I have to look forward to for the next 40 years? Excuse my while I refill my mug and sweeten it with my tears of joy...
In other news, Baseball officially kicked off in Japan the other day, and I had intended a post to talk a ton of shit about the Red Sox and also the A's and their moneyballin' ways. Let me sum it up like this: Thank God for the beginning of baseball, because in April, you still believe anything can happen. I hate the Red Sox, but they are a bunch of class acts for refusing to go to Japan unless their coaches got paid the money they were promised. However, why the hell these guys need what is essentially my year's salary for a short trip to Japan is beyond me. And the A's suck, classically. They have teams that make great runs during the regular season built around smart choices, inexpensive players, and young talent, but they never make the full run, always lose in the playoffs (when they make it) and have a mass exodus of young talent every year because they can't afford to keep these guys. Bravo, really, keep up the good work. There is no argument for huge inflated payrolls, as my beloved Yanks have missed the Series completely for four straight years, and the Mets, well, those sorry boys just don't know how to win...even I felt bad for them last season. Anything short of them making the World Series this year results in some major re-engineering of the team...bold prediction of the season number one. Many more to come...
Bold Prediction 2: Yanks in 5.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment