The Week in Review

Here it is - random notes and thoughts from the world of sports and everything else this week, in no particular order:

- I was at the bank today and at the atm there was a sign that said, "This is a speaking ATM that can interface with any common headset for instructions on how to use the ATM." This sounded like a great idea. Then I realized that it can't be for illiterate people, because they'd have to read the sign to understand it. It can't be for blind people, because there was no braille with the instructions. It can't be for people who don't speak English, because the sign was ONLY in English...who the fuck was this sign for? The really really bored who can't be bothered reading but want the machine to tell them what to do? Whoever sold the bank on that feature can sell sand to Saudis, because I have no fucking clue who that feature is for. Maybe I'm missing something really obvious here...

- Tiger woods knew about the stress fractures in his knee, and when his doctor told him, "You have to be on crutches for 3 weeks and then have 3 more weeks of inactivity," he looked him in the eye and said, "No. I'm going to play in the U.S. Open and I'm going to win." And he did. People refer to Tiger's dominance and performance as "Jordanesque," but at the rate this is going, if we ever see anyone perform on this level again, it will be called, "Tigeresque."

- There's a new NBA Champion - the Boston Celtics, though I refuse to admit that they won it as much as the Lakers gave it to them. I don't like the Lakers, I used to not care about Basketball, but I watched every game in the series and my feelings can be summed up as this: I was embarassed for the Lakers. In the back to back World Series Sweeps the Yankees had, in the sweeps that even the Red Sox had, hell, NEVER have I seen a team just completely not show up for a series until now. Those two games they won were the Celtics catching their collective breathes. The Lakers gave up a 24 point lead and lost, and then let a 19 point lead trickle away and barely won. It only makes sense they lost the clincher by 39, because no one cared. Even Kobe, who should have been out to prove that he can win the Big One without the Big Guy, played like a simpering Mama's Boy, expecting every call to go his way, making dumb fouls 30 ft from the hoop, and staying out of the lane for fear of getting hacked and going to the line. On some of the biggest plays I saw Kobe hanging out wide open just inside the 3-line. It was like the Celtics realized he wasn't showing up, so they just didn't care. Meanwhile, when the Lakers forgot about Garnett, he literally jogged to the basket with no one around him for 8 feet, and put in an alley-oop that crushed the spirit of the Lakers early and with authority. The Cavs series was the best one of the entire Finals, with Lebron and Pierce going head to head in a Game 7 that was more epic than any of the 12 following games the Celtics then played. The only good thing about the series is that never again will anyone ever compare Kobe to Jordan. Jordan NEVER choked like that in a playoff, and he made his teammates better with his play...Kobe...not so much.

- The New York Mets proved themselves to be a classy organization by firing Willie Randolph in the middle of the night, and letting Omar Minaya keep his job. Minaya is responsible for building this Mets team, not Willie, and when you've built your team around Carlos Delgado (old, injured, unproductive, and on the decline when they signed him), Carlos Beltran (overrated), Moises Alou (old and injury prone), Orlando Hernandez (eligible for Social Security), and Pedro Martinez (injury prone) how is your ass not on the line?? Of those 5 players, that's 61 million in salary this year. The Mets total salary? 137 million. That's a little less than half for you Fine Arts majors out there. Even Santana, making 17 million this year, has been looked on by a lot of top brass around the MLB as a questionable signing, with his velocity down and his HR numbers creeping each year. Sure, the ownership can call it Omar's team, but if it is, it's his fault the Mets are playing sub-.500 ball right now, not Willie's.

- Joba is still looking for that elusive first W as a starting pitcher, despite having good outings in both Houston and the Bronx. The Yanks have been playing great, really grinding, and they're the proud owners of a 7 game win streak. I'm trying not to get too excited considering Chien-Ming Wang, who looks like he'd never run a day in his life, is out until September. Thats a huge blow, especially with Kennedy and Hughes on the DL. Not that Kennedy and Hughes were contributing much, but they were at least warm bodies. Another vote of no-confidence was given to Kei Igawa when the Yankees signed Sidney Ponson. I also don't understand why - they tried Ponson once and he was a dog. I was really hoping the Sox would pick him up, because when they signed Colon I had hoped that they were taking the mantle of washed up pitchers from the Yankees...but alas, it was not to be. I'll still cheer on the laundry though - Go anyone in a Yankees uniform!

- Tha Carter III, L'il Wayne's newest album came out this week and received four and a half stars from Rolling Stone. If you're keeping score at home, that's half a star more than Nas' Illmatic. Rolling Stone's opinion on hip-hop is now worth nothing to me.

- My friends over at organicfunny.com updated their page with a photo shoot poking fun at American Apparel. It's hilarious.

- Bill Simmons, The Sports Guy, for the first time ever, has come under fire from me after this past week. Despite the fact that this guy is a Boston nut job and loves all things Boston Sports, and hates the Yanks, Canadiens, Lakers, and now the Giants, I can't get enough of him; he writes about all things sports so well I want to be just like this guy (except that I'd root for good teams). However, he slammed, straight up SLAMMED all the Lakers fans at the Finals games, and it's understandable because the real fans got priced out and all they had were poseurs. What was inexplicable to me, was how he completely ignored the Celtics Bandwagon that formed somewhere around 50 games into the season. Every friend of mine that is a Red Sox fan did the same fucking thing when the Patriots won back in '01 - all of a sudden, they had been football fans for life. I checked in with most of them about 40 games into the season, "You care about the Celtics?" "Nah, I hate basketball, that's cool that they're doing well though." Next thing you know, everyone is hootin' and hollerin' because they love the Celtics sooooo much. OMG! I've been a fan 4eva! F you all. And Simmons, where was your outrage against the fairweather fans. I loved your support of the real Fans that stuck it out for all those years when the Celtics sucked, but - and pardon the Shakespeare - hold the mirror up to nature. Because you know if it was the Knicks, you would be saying the same thing.

-Jobimoto out.
"Oh yeah, Scranton, PA...I spent a week there one day."