Quick Picks

It is rare that I'm home, and even rarer that I am home on a football Sunday. My dad and I get to watch a Giants game together for the first time in years and I couldn't be more pumped. Here are my quick picks:

Jets (-8) over Denver
Buffalo (-6.5) over San Francisco
Tampa Bay (-4) over New Orleans
Carolina (+3) over Green Bay
GIANTS (-4) over Washington
Miami (-7) over St. Louis
Baltimore (-7) over Cincinnati
Indianapolis (-4.5) over Cleveland
Atlanta (+5.5) over San Diego
Pittsburgh (+2) over New England
Kansas City (+3) over Oakland
Minnesota (-3.5) over Chicago
Jacksonville (+3) over Houston

That's it for now.

-Jobimoto out.
No...more...pie...

Thanks, and the giving of it

Today is Thanksgiving, and there is much to be thankful for. Currently I am thankful to be home with my family where I am getting ready to load up on food and watch a game that may closely resemble football, despite the fact that the Detroit Lions are playing.

I am thankful for a lot of things: my friends, my family, my health, my job - I really can't complain about much even though I like to rant and rave about sports at the drop of the hat. Currently I am thankful not to be working and thankful for the whiskey tea I am drinking that is massaging my hangover.

I am also thankful for Tom Coughlin, who makes my New York Football Giants true competitors. I am thankful for the emergence of Justin Tuck as the baddest man around, as well as the O-line, that keeps Eli upright. I will stop gushing, because I finished 8-8 last week, missing some key key matchups, so without further ado...

Tennessee (-11) over Detroit - I would give this the AGS pick, except it's Thursday. I feel like we could maybe be experiencing a Thanksgiving miracle, but only to cover. But that's crap. Detroit has the worst run defense in the league, and who has made their success by mainly running the ball? That's right, the Titans. This "game" is going to turn into a slaughter.

Dallas (-12) over Seattle - I would sit through Seattle at Detroit if I could watch a game like Tennessee versus Dallas, instead we have a 10-1 team against an 0-11 team, and a 7-4 team against a 2-9 team. Seattle isn't even going to show up - they are not a team that seems very interested in winning. Even if Rob Johnson were at QB, I would probably still take Dallas over Seattle with this spread. The Seahawks love to come into town and get beat to Hell, and I think today will be no different.

Arizona (+3) over Philadelphia - I would say this is a trap game except for the turmoil that the Eagles are experiencing. This will be a good test for Arizona - coming east, playing in the cold, having to maybe abandon the passing game and rely on the run. All of these things are doable for this offense. They hung tough with the Giants last week, but that was in the comfort of their turf. The Eagles do not look like a mentally tough team. They look flat, they look weak, and they look like they've only got so much fight in them. I'm taking the Cards and the points.

Also, what the hell is this NuggNuts commercial series that McDonald's is running? This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen - and how the hell do they think that NuggNuts sounds appealing? That's disgusting, it conjures so many horrible visual images that I don't know if I can keep my breakfast down...McDonald's, I am not thankful for you.

Happy Turkey day!

-Jobimoto out.
Gobble, gobble.

Making a mockery of timing

Yeah, so this is not a timely post.

Here were my picks made yesterday but never posted:
Cleveland (-3) over Houston
KC (+3) over Buffalo
Tennessee (-5.5) over Jets
New England (+1) over Miami
Dallas (-10) over San Francisco
Tampa Bay (-8.5) over Detroit
Baltimore (-1.5) over Philadelphia
Chicago (-8) over St. Louis
Minnesota (+2) over Jacksonville
Carolina (+1) over Atlanta (ASG in Hotlanta's favor)
Denver (-9) over Oakland
Washington (-3.5) over Seattle
Giants (-3) over Arizona
Indianapolis (+2.5) over San Diego (this one is for pride now)
Green Bay (+2.5) over New Orleans

So the Colts are playing the Chargers right now, and with my Thursday pick, I'm at
7-7.
Game I could not have predicted in a thousand years:
-Denver getting whipped by Oakland at home. Oakland is so bad that now when something is awful you might as well just say, 'it's Oakland,' and I don't care how old that joke is. This floored me, but Denver is sinking to new lows. Seriously is anyone going to win that division or is someone going to be declared, "not the worst."

Game I can't believe:
-Buffalo beating KC blew my mind. Buffalo looked so bad and KC has played spoiler so many times recently I thought that with 5 at home in Arrowhead that this was a lock. Instead the Bills blew them out of the water. Is Buffalo back in it? Not at all. But that would have cost me some
bucks.
-Washington missing the spread by half a fucking point, but that's why Vegas gets paid. How did they not beat the spread against the lowly Seahawks?
And the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets beating the Titans? The Titans don't need wins in theory. The worst they can finish is 10-6, I just don't think I can take Jets fans and their Brett Favre Brett -Favre Brett Favre talk. I'm happy the Titans got knocked off, and I'm happy for Jets fans, but man their patter is abysmal. The Titans looked lackluster in what little I saw, and they did not deserve to win this game.

Game I was proud of calling:
-New England over Miami.

Weak spreads I could not believe:
- Minnesota a 2 point underdog to Jacksonville? those guys are bad.
- Baltimore only 1.5 over Philly? Did anyone watch Philly struggle against the Bengals?

Any Given Sunday:
Happened in Atlanta. They flat out flogged the Panthers. Should have seen that one coming. Never pick Carolina or Tampa, always pick based on the other team.

My boys:
The G-Men rocked. Gave up too many points on D, but Zona has emerged as a high power offense, and the Giants matched them blow for blow and then some. Proud of my boys.

Currently:
Watching Colts/Bolts. Anxiously awaiting a full on Phillip Rivers implosion. So happy the Giants traded him for Manning.

-Jobimoto out
"Bromance?"

He had SO much time.

Peyton Manning was given a minute and a half and man did he use it. Make that 8-7 on the week.

Phillip Rivers surprisingly did not implode, but I did know that Turner was not going to manage the clock well. Gotta love the certainties in life...

-Jobimoto out
Not quite a spanking...

Can't I sleep in?

No. And why must curtain calls sometimes be longer than the freaking show? Seriously, I'm IN the show and I'm uncomfortable with the clapping the audience has to do.

Last week 9-7, could not have been more wrong in some cases.

Pick:

Cincinnati (+11) over Pittsburgh - Cincy is playing spoiler and Pittsburgh is slowing down. The Bengals are fiesty, but even down Ocho, I think they can cover 11 points.

-Jobimoto out.
No. Not doing it.

Who said what now?

I don't even have to look back, I know that in an earlier post I talked about Gerrard as the backup to Roethlisberger in Pittsburgh. Yes. It's Leftwich. I know. Let's drop it.

I don't care how many commercials Peyton Manning is in, I want him advertising my shiz. He is hilarious. The latest Mastercard commercial where he's misinterpreting insults is genius. I don't care if it makes me a simple man, I love it. He will sell iceboxes to Eskimos when his playing days are over. Eli is not the advertising genius his brother is, but I don't care - he is winning football games, and Peyton is not. It's tough to say that the Giants are the team to beat, but they are. The problem with being the team to beat is that generally someones comes along and does so (see: last year's Patriots, the Greatest Show on Turf, and the 2000 Minnesota Vikings the year the Giants skunked them 40-0 in the NFC Championship game only to get abused by the Baltimore Ravens in what was not truly a Super Bowl, but was merely a Decent Thimble - obvious pun, bite me).

I called the Jets/Pats game all wrong, but some rather unfortunate incidents happened to the Patriots, see the miscued snap, the drop by Watson, and a couple uncalled penalties. But Cassel still threw for 400 yds, 3 touchdowns, and they lost. They could not run the ball and continually went into spreads that were Brady's bread and butter but that Cassel is still coming to grips with. He is decent, maybe even good, but Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre really was the difference maker with one stat - 0, as in interceptions. I thought the Patriots abandoned a solid pass rush in overtime that had helped them subdue the Jets in the second half, but what do I know? Ty Law was useful when he had help deep, but he got exploited by Gaffney early in the second half. Kudos to both teams, but the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets deserve all the props.

Picks, and on time for a change!

Atlanta (-6.5) over Denver - Time change and a bad defense against a solid rushing attack and a developing stud quarterback at home. I don't need to dwell on this.

Miami (-10) over Oakland - Time change, a bad defense, and an offense missing a ton of pieces against a surprising Miami team. Also, Oakland is awful. So awful this game will probably get national coverage.

Giants (-7) over Baltimore - Ths is a tough one and quite possibly the biggest fan pick I have given. The only reason I really believe the Giants can cover this is because Joe Flacco has not been put under a ton of pressure this year. I don't know if that's a function of his O-line, or if it's the fact that they haven't been playing teams with great defenses (a little of both), but the Giant's pass rush has proved it can hang in and take on just about anyone. Flacco will make some mistakes under pressure, and the Giants know that's the game plan. The Giants are going to have to pound the Ravens early with the run (let's hear it for Brandon Jacobs) to clear up some time for Eli. He'll play a little pitch and catch downfield with Plax, and it's game over. However, not an easy win.

Houston (+8) over Indianpolis - Looking for Houston to cover, not to win. Indy is perhaps the biggest question mark in the NFL, looking both solid and porous all at the same time. I think they can handle Houston, especially at home, and that the 8 points are for the fans (see my above prediction). Houston is more than capable of covering, and should, considering they inexplicably blew a game to Indy earlier this year (anyone remember that Sage Rosenfels?)...

Tennessee (-3) over Jacksonville - Everything in me is screaming to take Jacksonville and the points, because if there's a team coming up that's going to beat Tennessee, the Jaguars might be it. But I'm alrso reminded of how horrible the Jags have played of late and how beating Detroit is barely even a moral victory, more just one on paper.

Chicago (+3.5) over Green Bay - It's tough picking against Green Bay at home as the season changes, but the Bears are no stranger to the cold, and evertime I've picked Green Bay because of Lambeau they've let me down. I'm taking the Bears to cover and win.

Philadelphia (-9) over Cincinatti - This team has to stop sucking at some point, but it won't against the Eagles, who are coming off a tough loss against the Giants and are licking their chops in need of a win. They are staring down the Bungles and everything that is wrong with the team.

New Orleans (-5.5) over Kansas City - FINALLY, Kansas City is no longer being given ridiculous spreads. They stopped making Vegas money, so the lines, that KC has been covering, are now back down to earth. New Orleans is another team that should be doing vastly better than it's record. A team like Kansas City is just the type of team that this potential offensive juggernaut needs to get the ship righted again.

Detroit (+14) over Carolina - This pick makes no sense to me, except Detroit has played spoiler against some huuuuge spreads. It's the only thing that's even leading me to pick them against Carolina, who is currently tied with Tampa for "Team I hate picking games for." Honestly, I think if you look at my Tampa/Carolina games, they are all a wash. Come to think of it, a lot of the NFC South is like that...hmmm.

San Francisco (-6.5) over St. Louis - ONLY if Steven Jackson isn't starting. I won't have time to check on this, but I am declaring this pick null and void (or at least reversed) if Jackson plays. A team with absolutely no running game is not much of a threat in the air (unless you are New England and you have three awesome wide outs and a solid tight end). St. Louis has an aging Torry Holt and Donnie Avery, who has been benched this week after letting me down for two straight weeks. Meaning he's good for 2 and at least a 100 yards.

Tampa Bay (-4) over Minnesota - Yes, picking Minnesota to lose, not Tampa to win, because we know that happens when I do that. I was going to play Antonio Bryant over Avery because he has been solid in recent weeks, but I went with Welker instead, who is a great 3 man in Fantasy because he's good for about 4 a week in yardage. He was a Stud last year, and is still a keeper. My team is going to be so stacked next year with Brady Quinn, Tim Hightower, Wes Welker, Donnie Avery, and Antonio Bryant, but this year we're playing for the draft pick...my keepers this year were: Julius Jones (injured and underachieving), Anquan Boldin (STUUUD, with a couple injuries), Joey Galloway (injured), Wes Welker (diminished returns due to Brady's absence), Todd Heap (let's not talk about that...), and the Giant's D (solid). Next year will be better...

Arizona (-3) over Seattle - Only three? I was about to go on about how this seems pretty far fetched, until I looked it up and saw that Seattle lost by 2 to Miami (beating the spread) and that Arizona beat the 9ers by 5 last week (missing the spread). Arizona is better than Miami and Seattle is worse than San Francisco, so I think this is a little odd, but what the hell. I'll take the easy points.

Pittsburgh (-5) over San Diego - San Diego is will not be back in the winners circle unless they get a ridiculous spread. The situation applies even against a banged up Pittsburgh team. San Diego has been such a dog, and they are about as banged up as the Steelers, but are ultimately a worse team. Not a tough pick for me.

Washington (+1.5) over Dallas - Tony Romo is coming off a broken widdle fingew, is going TO Washington, and the 'Skins are still the underdog? That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. This is a game that Dallas can win and actually needs to win if they have any hope of remaining in contention for a playoff spot. And as much as Dallas needs it, I don't think they're pulling it out. They are the Yankees of the NFL in 2008...though the Chargers also share that sentiment. Dallas has just had a lot of problems, and they aren't in a place to recover right now. Boohoo Cowgirls. See you next year.

Cleveland (+5) over Buffalo - Call me crazy (you're crazy!), but I like Brady Quinn against the struggling Buffalo Bills. A completely winnable game for the Bills, but so was Thursday for the Pats. The Bills could gain some ground in the AFC East with this win, but I think they're slide is a little too steep to be stopped at this point. It was a good run boys, but fix your QB woes and we'll see you next year.

So far this week: 0-1-0.

-Jobimoto out.
"Rub some dirt on it."

"This is Curious" (or, "Who do I punch?")

Steven Jackson is about to get the biggest face punch I can muster. If he were not on my fantasy team, he'd be receiving a moderate face punch, but no, he was my first round pick and was a stud for me two years ago when he decided that no defense could hold him and he wanted to gain a total of 2334 yards from scrimmage and 16 touchdowns. Ah, that was a good year.

He was disappointing last year as a Fantasy back but still a decent runner, so maybe he was a questionable first round pick considering that he had an offensive line that likes to do an impression of Swiss cheese and was holding out up until a week before the season. But he got paid as well he should and all seemed right in Ram-town, right?

Wrong. So unbelievably wrong. He didn't score until week four, when I benched him. Then in Week 7, he decides he's a golden god and scores 3 touchdowns with 160 yards, hurting himself in the process. Then he sat for a week. Then he "attempted" to play the next week. Then he sat last week, and is doing so again. Did this guy even want to play football this year??

Look, I know the Rams suck and are out of it at 2-7. There is no point in him ruining his career when the team could get an amazing draft pick. But...couldn't you have done this earlier so I hadn't wasted so many weeks playing you? Couldn't you have signed the contract then tapped out after week 6? You guys were 1-4. It was over. Le sigh...

-Jobimoto out.
"And Jackson's tackled for a loss..."

I think what my friend is trying to say is...

Love is blind. That's the way sports fandom goes. You watch your team do all the wrong things, and you keep going back for more. No one will ever be able to explain why, it's just one of those things that perennially keeps happening. Kudos to Blogi though for Tim Lincecum winning the Cy Young award. That kid is a 170 lb stud. He is going to be the centerpiece of that rotation, if only the Giants have the brains, gall, and dollars to build around him...and maybe get him a couple of bats to provide run support.

But yes, the 49ers game was a disaster, though they beat the spread and ruined one of my picks. Boldin and my fantasy team soared though, so no complaints there. Let's do a little recap shall we?

So did anyone else see the emergence of Brady Quinn as an all around Stud? He is going to only get better. Granted, playing against a horrible defense made him look good and his defense folded on him and ruined my pick, but we saw something great come out of this kid, and I think we'll be hearing from him for a long time. There were a couple times where he forced himself out of the pocket and created his own problems, but he'll be fine, it was his first start, he's bound to be a little jumpy.

As bad as Jacksonville has been, how could you not have had them beating Culpepper and the cowardly Lions?

The Tennessee and New England games both felt like locks, and the Patriots have proved that they are still contenders, and the Bills proved they are, in fact, pretenders.

Taking New Orleans and the single point was dumb dumb dumb. I don't know what possessed me, but as soon as that game started, it was clearly over. Drew Brees threw for 422 yards and New Orleans still lost. Ohhhh, he also threw for 3 interceptions. If we go by the adage that every interception is worth 5 points added to your opponent's score, and Atlanta had 34 points and New Orleans had 20 (Matt Ryan, it should be noted, threw no interceptions)...well look at that, take away those fifteen points and you have New Orleans winning 20-19, not even needing the points.

Miami not covering shocked me. Seattle almost winning this game shocked me even more. While I lost the pick, the important thing is the Dolphins, doing a modified Tampa Bay Rays impression, held on. These are the games good teams have to win, and it doesn't matter if you win ugly, you still get the W.

There are not enough words to describe how wrong I was about St. Louis covering against the Jets. 47-3. That's an embarrassment. That's Pee-Wee vs Div I-A right there. I don't know if the Jets defense is really that good, or if the absence of Jackson and the run killed the Rams, but they were 16 types of bad last weekend. I don't know if I can put my faith in them again for a while. Donnie Avery got benched on my team after that piss-poor last week (I'm sure he's feeling it).

Carolina and Baltimore covering were not shocking. The way in which Green Bay covered (by a point and a half) prompted a gambler's sigh of relief, but left me wanting more. They're too good a team and the Vikings are too mediocre for this to be happening. Maybe it's the other way around, but I am over the NFC North. And the South. And the West. It should also be noted though that KC kiiiiiiilled the spread against the Chargers, who are Bad. If I had money, I would have laughed all the way to the bank on that one. But alas, I am poor, not broke - and we all know that the real gamblers have absolutely nothing, because what do they have to lose except limbs?

Pittsburgh got beat by Indy, in what should have been a shocking revelation, but in hindsight, I'm sad I didn't predict this. Sanders was a difference maker, Indy got a lot of lucky breaks, and they were able to hold the Steelers off. Steelers' football is essentially a 12 round fight decided by decision week in, week out - it's tough for them to maintain a fully healthy roster, and this is the point in the season when it starts to catch up. It's good to stake a big lead early in the Steel-town, if only to catch some rest later.

So that leaves...who? The New York Football GIANTS! Who did in fact cover the three I gave to Philly! Suckers! Each and every one of the Boys in Blue were fired up that they were somehow the underdog (this will forever blow my mind). The score is no indication of how much that game was dominated by the Giants. Andy Reid made desperation challenges and was right to lose them. The reason the score got as high as it did for the Eagles was because of the insane field position they got a couple times. But no excuses, the defense gave up some big plays, but the offense made big ones too, which people need to focus on. We gave up 31 and WON. Not only can the team win with the D, but it gets it done on the other side of the ball. Giants run game was the difference maker, and I'm glad no one is trying to stroke Plax's ego or try to turn Eli into a gunslinger. Stick with the gal that brought you to the dance, and that's the frightening trio of Jacobs, Ward, and Bradshaw. I'll take that any day of the week.

On the Week: 8-6

Prediction for thursday:
New England (-3) over Jets - I think this is a game that the Jets can win, but won't. Brett Favre will be the deciding factor either way, either by leading them to victory or taking them down the path to defeat. He is the keystone.

-Jobimoto out.
"What can I say? I'm not a talker."

Cy Young is Proud

Way to go, Timmy! BOO YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check out the final count.

I like the reference to the election stats in there as well.

Also, check out the video of Lincecum talking to the press about the win. The kid is really that: A KID. But in the best way possible. 1) He's a west-coaster (though from Washington... close enough) and really is the personification of the term "West Coast": Chill. 2) He just wants to play ball and keep getting better everyday. He's not a "rockstar" or sports diva, he just wants to throw that ball for the love of the great and glorious game after which it's named.

To everyone else in the MLB: take a page from Lincecum's book. If there were more people out there that went into the game like he does, it would make it just that much more enjoyable to watch. Why? Because of passion. Passion for what you're doing, not about what and who you can afford to do off the field. It's what separates the good players from the great ones.

Allright, time to go watch Sukiyaki Western Django. Check out the trailer on apple trailers and you'll see why I ordered it from netflix as soon as it was released.

Quantum of Solace comes out this weekend as well. Excellent.

-Bloggi Out.

"Currahee!"

Standardize test this kid....

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, 49ERS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(Breathe)

(Breathe)




(fix broken desk...)



I swear to God, you guys are making it seem like your overriding objective is how badly you can lose these games, or at least how badly you can make yourselves look doing it. The only reason the game was so close last night was because the Cardinals got the same memo, so it turned into a game of sun-deprived dungeons and dragons nerds dragged out of their respective caves, castles, forests, and swamps (A.K.A basements, attics, treehouses, and.... well, swamps) and given a pigskin(no offense, Jobi). I could have sworn I saw a couple guys trying to cast spells on the line, which were misinterpreted as false starts.

But the Dungeon Master was worst of all, and was none other than Shaun Hill. I can't beat up on the kid too much, though, cuz he's a fresh replacement for the awful JT O'Sullivan, and doesn't have the experience to be able to harp on him too much. BUT STILL. It was like the coaching staff gave the rulebook to their little sister and said "OK. Go kill us some dragons"

I mean, seriously. An underhand forward pitch to a guy 10 yards in front of you covered by two defenders? THIS ISN"T 3rd GRADE FLAG FOOTBALL!!! The rest of the team is working hard for the most part, but that guy is starting to make rex grossman look like he can actually go onto the field without his juicy juice.

I'm sorry Shaun, it was just a miserable experience. I hope you get your sea legs under you and let Rex continue to be the one to bring his dinosaur lunchpail into the locker room.

Until then, thank god for college ball.

Ugh.

On a completely unrelated note, my friend got me a free ticket to see Freestyle Love Supreme with Lin Manuel Miranda, star and co writer of In The Heights, and it was fucking hysterical. 4 freestyle singers/rappers, 1 beatboxer, and a piano player doing a completely improved, musical comedy show. Genius. At one point they rapped their way through a scene where a group of Moose were gunned down by Sarah Palin in a helicopter, and then she was gored by the last remaining moose, who in his dying moments sang/screamed "OBAMAaaaaaaa!" All on the suggestion of the word "protection."

'nuff said.

Peace Sauce!


-Bloggi out.

"When does baseball season start?"

Paging Mr. Sunshine...paging Mr. Sunshine

Yeah, I could use a little of that right now, because this weekend has been bookended by rain delays preventing me from getting on planes. The games are under way, and I'm making a habit of putting up predictions while the games are going on, but I assure you, I am nowhere near a TV because I have to wait to see if maybe, just maybe, I can finally get back to New York...

So here's the picks, because it looks like I got a looooong time:

Jacksonville (-6.5) over Detroit - Detroit can be a spoiler against the spread, but they've finally shored up a bit and kept it under a touchdown, but I don't think that's going to make much difference with the QB situation. He was getting a little bit of a heckling from Chris Carter on the ESPN football show this morning, and I agree. I don't care if he's been keeping in shape, he hasn't had one week to learn how to run the offense, he's had one week with the team. The Lions will not be spoilers this week, no matter how bad Jacksonville is.

Tennessee (-3) over Chicago - I don't see how Unsexy Rexy is going to pull it out over the Titans. Tennessee will lose at some point, they won't run the table, but it won't be to the Bears and lowly Rex Grossman.

New England (-3.5) over Buffalo - I was on the Bills Bandwagon earlier this year. They looked like the cinderella team that was going to take the boys all the way to the big ball. Then they started losing. And losing sloppily. I don't think their season is shot, but I think they need to re-work some things. New England's loss to the Colts doesn't deter me from picking them this week. They've still got it, especially when it comes to their division matchups.

New Orleans (+1) over Atlanta - Everything in my gut is telling me this is the wrong pick, and maybe I should listen. But Drew Brees is playing great football right now, and one of these days the stars will allign for him and will allign against Michael Turner and Matt Ryan. This could be the game. The single point is a joke, I'm picking N.O. to win, and then later I will get my head examined.

Miami (-8.5) over Seattle - Giving Miami an almost double digit spread seems unthinkable to me considering where we were a year ago, but there is a new dawg in the pound, and one of the pups has grown up. Seattle is bad. I mean bad. Before they were down a couple receivers, then it was a couple receivers and a running back, now it's the receivers, running back, and quarterback. Throw in a bad defense and you have one of the worst teams in the league. Also, west coast/one o'clock game.

St. Louis (+9) over Jets - Why the Jets keep getting given ridiculous spreads is beyond me, because they sure as hell aren't covering them (Oakland, Kansas City). Without Jackson in the lineup, I'm a little less sold on the Rams as an offensive force, but I have to believe that they can cover the nine points they're getting against and aging and senile (I said senile) Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. He is throwing it to guys who are not on his team and making it look like that's the play that was called. Come oooooooon.

Green Bay (+2.5) over Minnesota - I feel like I should go with Minnesota here. Green Bay can't stop the run and Minnesota has All-Day Adrian Peterson. That formula alone should say, "pick the Vikings." So why am I going Pack? Especially when Aaron Rodgers is not necessarily at full health? Because the Division matchups are always big big big games, and in those cases, the Packers rarely fail to dissapoint. Call it picking the mystique, but I'm going for it.

Carolina (-9) over Oakland - Is there any explanation needed? We're talking about Oakland. I feel like I don't want to waste my typing.

Kansas City (+15) over San Diego - Taking the points, otherwise KC is losing this game. But 15 points to a Chargers team that has looked underwhelming at best? They are doing their best impression of the 2008 Yankees by being a team that should be stacked, should be able to make it through the injuries, somehow isn't, but that everyone refuses to count out. Trust me, from the 5 frustrating months I endured through spring/summer/fall, it ain't happening. It's over. San Diego is bad, and will easily give those 15 points.

Pittsburgh (-3) over Indy - THIS is the game that Pittsburgh has been licking it's chops over. Peyton Manning is not mobile and the whole team seems slow and doddering except in short extreme bursts. All the Steel Curtain has to do is contain the explosions, and then play it's normal grinding football and try to pressure Peyton Manning. He won't be getting away from them, and the line is letting the threat through. Garrard has proved himself capable even if Ben sits, and I think this is a game they can win, but need for bragging rights.

Giants (+3) over Philly - Whoever set this line has to be kidding, right? I think there is a distinct possibility the Giants can get beat by Philly, in Philly...but the Giants are 7-1, are coming off whipping the Steelers and the Cowgirls, and you're telling me they're the underdog in Philly? Fine, give me the points, but I'd take them to win even. I'll even give you three. I don't care if I eat these words later (which I won't) - I am saying here and now, I will give you the three back. Giants will win. It will be tough, but they'll come through.

Baltimore (-1) over Houston - Baltimore is hungry and has found an offensive rhythm. Houson should be in a much better state than it is. What I'm saying is. I could not care less about this game, but the Ravens are clearly the better team. They're gently rapping at my chamber door.

Arizona (-9.5) over San Francisco - Arizona can blow open a division that is horrible. They can be in the playoffs again, and they could even win a playoff game. If I thought I would be saying that before the year started, I would have called myself a moron. But here they are, and they are winning. They have a lot of flaws, but I think they can at least sweep those under the rug for the 9ers, who have a way of making bad teams look good, good teams look better, and the best teams like they're playing a whole different sport than the 9ers are.

There they are, your picks of the week. Recap coming soon...

-Jobimoto out.
"Stone. Cold. Lead. Pipe. Locks."

Thursday game

It's happening already - football's being played on a Thursday...I have to make my pick now for the first game.

Cleveland (-3) over Denver - Welcome the Brady Quinn era! My fantasy team is staaaaaacked with young talent primed to take over next year (Brady Quinn, Tim Hightower, Donnie Avery) - that's a base right there! Unfortunately I'm also playing for the draft pick right now...but anyhow. I think Cleveland can win this game despite throwing Quinn into a new system with only four days to prepare, only because they have the luxury of playing against Denver. Horrible defense, and anemic looking offense of late, and Cleveland believing they're still in it. I'm taking Cleveland and giving the points.

Ok, off to Ohio for the weekend for my buddy's wedding. We'll see how that goes. If we're lucky, there will be a booze hazed, football oriented blog post.

-Jobimoto out.
"I can be your hero, baby..."

The WR Scale - I'm pulling a DeSean Jackson

Ok, so I'm a little late writing the picks, and some of the games are going on and some of my picks are way wrong, but we're going to pretend that it's ok. I'm pulling a DeSean Jackson on the Wide Receiver douchiness scale, and here's how they rank, douchiest to least douchey:

T.O. - Mister, "Getcha Popcorn" and "I love me some me" jumped ship in San Fran to go to the Eagles, helped them get to a super bowl, then promptly threw his team under the bus, claimed it was all Donovan's fault, held press conferences while working out in his driveway because he was holding out unless they traded him, gets to Dallas, and does a lot of crying over "his QB" while at the same time bitching when he doesn't get passes and gets fined for showboating.

Randy Moss - Mr. "Straight Cash, Homey" - looked like he was going to be a God in Minnesota until he decided, "I'm rich and famous, and I don't need to try" - he got shipped off to Oakland for being a loud mouth, having run ins with the law, and for refusing to throw blocks or play tough. He almost fades into obscurity, until he gets traded to New England, and becomes, "The Model Player" probably because he's close to a ring. He then winds up in a assault probe against a woman, which reminds everyone he hit a female cop with his car (a mere bump) and then when the Pats look like they're fading in the Superbowl, he starts pouting and not throwing blocks.

Michael Irvin - Does anyone forget that this guy was brought up on assault charges and wasn't there a rape charge brought against him? Also, when going up against the Redskins in a playoff game, the opposing CB was playing with a cast on his hand. They asked him, "What is your strategy for playing him," to which Irvin responded, "I'm going after that arm. I don't think it's healed." And he did. True class. Should maybe rank above Randy Moss if I get my facts straight.

Steve Smith - He has now sucker punched two teammates - TEAMMATES. This man has anger issues. He ranks above Plax only because Plax hasn't (yet) physically mixed it up with one of his teammates. Steve Smith hits dudes unaware, then offers thinly veiled apologies. D-bag.

Plaxico Burress - The more I think about it, the more I want to rank him above Steve Smith, because Steve Smith is at least taking it out on other people, whereas I'm not sure Plax is aware other people exist besides him. He might believe that he's the only guy on the field and the football magically appears in his hands. The thing that keeps him low for me is that on another team this would not go as noticed as with Coughlin and his "Team First. Team Last. Team Always." policy. This guy is a d-bag though. No bones about it.

Keyshawn Johnson - Pompous windbag who was never that good (see his book, "Just Give Me the Damn Ball"). Made history as one of the first WRs who wanted a number in the teens. For some reason, that always stuck with me, especially because he was bad on multiple teams that both overpaid him. And now he's an overpaid analyst, so we have to hear him whine more.

Chad Ocho Cinco - Surprisingly low on my list. He bitches, he moans, but at the end of the day, he acknowledges it's to put on a show. When asked why he was changing his name to ocho cinco, he laughed and said, "because I can." This is just the case of the guy who loves the spotlight on him, like the kid who gets the Mohawk just to get it so people will say, "Cool Mohawk" - sidenote, most of the Bengals receiving corps (besides T.J.) would be on this list if they were good enough to qualify.

DeSean Jackson - He is here mainly incident in the Dallas game where he started showboating before the TD and flipped the ball out of his hand at the 1 yard line. He's a rookie, and they did recover and score anyway, but he has all the makings of a great douchebag WR, especially since he did something similar in a nationally televised HS game.

Joe Horn - Low on the totem pole, but he was a massive smack talker. Only here because he took a pen out of his shoe, autographed the football, and gave it to someone in the stands after a touchdown catch. That's just awesome.

Picks:
Houston (+5.5) over Minnesota

Jacksonville (-7) over Cincy - There is no way Cincy should win this game, Palmer's still out, and they are horrible. But lo and behold, they are leading currently.

KC (+9.5) over Tampa Bay - Why not? KC almost took down a not great Jets team last week and covered for me.

Buffalo (-5) over Jets - See above. The Jets are not good, and Buffalo is soon to get a second wind. This is the battle of the Lesser New York teams.

St. Louis (+3) over Arizona - Should be a massive shootout with both teams having no defense to speak of. However, it's 10-7 with the half ending...killing my fantasy team (4 players in that game, all or nothing)

Detroit (+12.5) over Chicago - Probably the worst possible pick of the week, I just can't believe that Detroit can't cover with the points.

Tennessee (-3.5) over Green Bay - Green Bay won't stand up to the last unbeaten team in the NFL.

*Jets just missed a field goal going into the half, Buffalo is coming back, I feel it.*

Miami (+4) over Denver - this is my ASG pick. Denver has looked miserable lately, and I don't expect that to change.

Atlanta (-3) over Oakland - the raiders suck, pure and simple.

GIANTS (-8.5) over Dallas - Come on. Who else am I gonna pick? (Look for the Cowgirls to cover the spread, but the Giants will win. If they don't, it's a shame, I mean, the Dallas secondary sucks, the line isn't holding, and Brad Johnson can throw about 10 yards downfield, making it impossible to exploit the Giants own questionable secondary, should be in the bag.)

Philadelphia (-7) over Seattle

New England (+6.5) over Indianapolis - This should be the best game of the year, and the schedule planners wept their eyes out when Brady went down for the year and Manning the Elder decided to look like Manning the Lesser (I know the reference doesn't really apply because it's a father/son reference...so bite me). Indy looks like a dog this year. Just a complete dog. New England flashes between amazing and boring. My prediction - I'll watch it, but I won't like it.

Pittsburgh (+2) over Washington - this is a friend pick, I'll admit. Pittsburgh, even undermanned, hung in there tight against the G-Men (did I mention that game was awesome), but they are 0-2 against the NFC Beast (and yes, only a-holes, wankers, and fanboys refer to it as that, and yes, I am all three). Washington will present some problems for them, but even undermanned, I think they can handle it. It all depends on the O-line, if Big Ben comes a-tumbling down, then we got some problems. I'll still take Pittsburgh, and the two points. It will be close, that I am sure of.

-Jobimoto out
Way to pull a Randy Moss. Douche.