Death Star Weather Forecast: SPACE WEATHER!

If you're new to our new blog, check out the posts for March 18th for a brief background on our title, Eggs & Toast.

First off, hats off to Penny Arcade for going for what I might be so bold as to hail the best visual dead baby joke to date. It also makes us here want to find somebody who can draw, so we can get our own comic strip going. No, not for dead baby jokes. Well.... not just for dead baby jokes, anyway...

I have this to say today: Apple, you're pissing me off. Things that make sense: Macbooks. Switching to Intel processors. iPods (sort of). Your advertising strategy. Things that don't make sense: Macbooks (to be explained). Macbook Air. iPod shuffle. The iPhone without 3G and more business-oriented support. Practically ignoring the gaming community (except for WoW). Granted, I lean towards PC's myself for various reasons, but man do I want me a Macbook Pro. Too bad my logic will win out 8 times out of ten and lead me to spring for a PC that for the same price could single-handedly beat the shit out of the Pro and still have an entire graphics processor left over to render a video of the PC guy from your ads doing very inappropriate things to your racially diverse, stunted siblings: Macbook White and Macbook Black. If someone ever decides to give me one, I'm painting it yellow, just to say "fuck you. " Don't even get me started on the Macbook Air. "How'd they get it so thin?" they ask. Easy: THERE'S NOTHING IN IT.

You've also created something of a class war, Apple. Your knack for creating very pretty products that work fluidly on only the most superficial layers of interface has allowed you to charge exorbitant sums for these flashy toys to cater to the wealthy neo-yuppie hipster crowd and kids with rich parents who can't rely on their own self confidence to fit in at school, while the rest of the poor assholes have to deal with immensely powerful hardware and software that 90% of us have no idea how to use. So what is someone like me left to do? Get money by fixing problems caused by both PC and Macs and buying both. I guess what I'm really trying to say is get your act together, Steve Jobs, and figure out how you can win someone like me over with in-depth functionality to your hot-to-trot bling boxes, and you could be knocking at your buddy Bill Gates' door with an eviction notice reading: "get the fuck out of that Forbes No. 2 Slot, Bitch."

Yeah, bit angry with today's post. Maybe more lighthearted next time. Or maybe not. Deal with it.

OH, can't go without dropping this one:

Rest in peace, Arthur C. Clarke.

For what it's worth, I think it's a good testament to the guy's character that he went out sticking it to God. It kind of makes me wonder, however, why it would be that he have to so adamantly assert that religion stay away from his death. Are there crazy family members hovering around him waiting for this very moment to attempt to save his soul? You'd think that if they were so invested in the task, he would have pissed them off enough by calling their beliefs "a necessary evil in the childhood of our particular species" to the point where they'd be perfectly content believing his soul is rotting in hell if it exists. The notion also forces me to imagine there are going to be bouncers placed throughout the mourning masses to throw anyone out that crosses themselves or says "God bless you" when the runny-nosed 4 year old sneezes on the coffin. I think that would be great. Well, Arthur, I for one hope you've found the answers to every brilliant and creative question you ever had and enjoy simultaneously existing throughout the ether of the universe to which you so wonderfully opened our eyes.

B-Spot out.

"Great Britain sucks"