Bring the Pain!

Today will be a special day for Blogi and I. His team (49ers) are coming east to play my team (GIANTS BABY!) and we are actually in the same city to watch this event unfold together. Maybe we'll get some live blogging in, but more likely than not we're just going to sit here yelling at the TV, and as soon as the game turns into a rout by Eli and the G-Men (somewhere around 12 minutes to go in the second quarter), I'm sure we'll wax rhapsodic about more pressing issues - but what could be more important than sports on a Sunday in the fall? The Rays are failing to deliver the killing blow, the Rangers are starting off well, and there's even hope that the Knicks won't be a public embarrassment to New York this year. Smell that? It's turning leaves and the best time of year to be a sports fan.

All that being said, I want a nickname. I can hear you now, "But Jobi...that IS your nickname!" Well, tough turkey. I want a nickname like, "Swami," or, "Guru," or, "White Chocolate Thunder." I know all of these names are already taken, but I want something for Sundays for when I make my bold predictions that cannot be backed up. That being said, on with the show...

Tennessee (-9) over Chiefs - Tennessee is now the lone unbeaten team left in the NFL, but that is not to say they will stay that way indefinitely. They will lose, but not to the Chiefs. The nine points may be a bit much, especially considering that Kerry Collins is under center for this team, but the Chiefs are not impressive. I'm taking Tennessee's defense to ice the game.

Buffalo (-1) over San Diego - It will happen some time this year that a west coast team will win a 1 o'clock game being played on the east coast, but until someone actually does, I'm going with history on this one. The Chargers could be the exception that proves the rule, but they (read - Phillip Rivers) have disappointed me so many times this year that I'm picking the Bills.

Pittsburgh (-9.5) over Cincinnati - Honestly, what are the Bengals doing this year? Last week they proved they couldn't cover a double digit spread against the Jets, who are by no means a powerhouse, and reports have been flying that the fans have given up on the season, sold their tickets to Stillers fans, and will be crying into their chili-mac as Pittsburgh rolls over these loser having lost all home field advantage.

Baltimore (+3) over Miami - Miami lost a close one last week that they should have won, and even though that may have soured me a little, I still think they're a good team. Baltimore got blown out of the water last week and I think they are better than that score reflects. They will be hungry, they are a defensive team, and they will have been studying the wildcat for the past week. I'm taking Baltimore and the points.

St.Louis (+7.5) over Dallas - As I wrote that pick I had to look again and say, "am I really doing this?" Losing Romo is not as bad as people are making it out to be, and the addition of Roy Williams is going to make a big difference for Dallas, even though T.O. is clearly losing a step. Losing Pacman is going to be addition by subtraction for the Cowgirls, because - as people have only recently started pointing out - he was never Great, just Good. He was not a huge factor this year, but the cameras ate him up every time he had a tackle or a big hit. Dallas' defense has looked both locked in and also sieve-like at times, and if St. Louis can take advantage of the latter and generate some offense, I'll take the Rams and the points. With all their weapons, they can't possibly be as bad as they are...can they?

Chicago (-3) over Minnesota - Both of these teams look very different since last they met, but none of them look good. They are technically tied for first in their division, but nobody looks like they actually want it. What an underachieving group of losers. With Peterson going toe to toe with the Bears' D, this should be an exciting game to watch, but for some reason I think I'd rather watch paint dry than see these two teams, one of whom will make the playoffs by default, go at it.

New Orleans (+3) over Carolina - I am sick of picking Carolina. Just sick of it. They burn me every damn week. They're the favorite, they don't cover the spread. They're the underdog, they STILL don't cover the damn spread. So F them. From now on every time Carolina is in a game I will not even consider them when making the pick. Drew Brees is great. He gets the +3. If I were a gambling man, I would avoid the Panthers and their games like a new plague.

Giants (-10.5) over 49ers - This is a fan bet. Can they Giants cover the spread? Yes. Will they cover it? I'm not so sure. I think that they might play a little conservative last week considering the loss the Browns, which will not be to the Giants advantage. If they win the coin toss, they should come out with the long strike right away to set the tone of the game, let Eli get comfortable, and turn this into the rout it should be. The 49ers are a Pacman Jones team right now - Good, not Great. They are an Enigma in a league full of Questions. If the D-line can shut down Frank Gore, I have no problem with this pick. Coincidentally, I think Jacobs is going to have a field day.

Detroit (+9.5) over Houston - I can't rationalize not taking these points against a Houston team that should be better than 1-4 but somehow isn't. Detroit is 0-5, and feel as they should be 0-8 7 weeks into the season. What everyone talks about is the ineptitude last week when their quarterback ran out of the end zone, cost them a safety, and they lost by 2. They lost by 2 to Minnesota! Do you know how much freaking money was lost on that game?? Even with the ungodly spread they had, I don't think anyone in their right mind picked Detroit and the points. Which is why I am doing it this week and Vegas will take me to the cleaners.

Jets (-3) over Oakland - Nothing about this game or this line makes me think anything is amiss. The Jets have a soft schedule and should keep winning games. Brett "I'm going to call Tony Romo and make him look like a p*ssy" Favre can still throw those bombs, I think this is an easy call.

Washington (-7.5) over Cleveland - Both teams are fired up. Cleveland's season is now not lost, and Washington needs to re-assert itself. In the crazy flipflopping world, look for the team that lost to the Giants to beat the piss out of the only team this year to beat the Giants. Home field is going to play a factor for Washington, and I think they can harass Anderson enough to get him out of his comfort zone and returning to his early season form. He was a bust in this year's draft, and as I was picking him I said, "bad call." I picked up Eli (good call), and Brady Quinn who is going to be a stud, even if they convert him to Linebacker - I mean, have you seen this guy?? The clipboard he's carrying must be made out of 45 lb plates. He is jacked. Actually, he is so huge that pretty soon, they will stop saying, "jacked," and start saying, 'Bradyed" or "Quinned." You see that guy on the bench? He's totally Quinned.

Indianapolis (-1) over Green Bay - This is why Vegas gets paid. One point is not enough to really give any indication of how this game is going (which is Indy's way), and is enough to entice Indy fans to say, "They can cover that easy!" and Green Bay fans to say, "Only one point? We can totally beat this team!" Both fan bases will open their wallets, Green Bay more so if someone gives them decent odds, and it will be an 8 point game either way. Vegas may not know much about football, but they know about making their money. Regardless, Peyton Manning is back to form, the Pack looks a little confused, even coming off the win in Seattle, and my money is on Vegas (-10) over poor schmucks like me.

Tampa Bay (-10.5) over Seattle - Another, "am I really making this pick?" moment. But indeed I am. Seattle has shown no life, Tampa Bay has looked strong (did I just write that), but the time change will not be a factor. But why is this the evening game? Who cares! I will be shocked if I am still watching this game at 8:15pm, even with Julius Jones running.

Denver (+3) over New England - Denver needs to bring one strategy to this game - shootout. Their defense is porous at best, but Cassel has proved only one thing this year, and that's the fact that he can't go toe to toe in a slugfest. He is the guy bringing a knife to a gunfight. The Patriots' D is aging, slow, and can be taken advantage of by the Broncos, even in Gillette stadium. If the Broncos come out swinging, put some early points on the board, and take the air out of New England, this game could turn very one-sided.

-Jobimoto out.
"Where'd they get trenchcoats?"